


Why, Theseus?

by AvidReader77



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angel of Death Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Angry Toby Smith | Tubbo, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Blaze Hybrid Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Blood God Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Depersonalization, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Ender Dragon Philza, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Fox Hybrid Floris | Fundy, Gen, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Oh My God, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Protective Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Technoblade Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, angst angst and more angst, everyone is mad at dream, he's trying back off, phil is a -C parent rn, sapnap - Freeform, they all want him dead, this used to be tommy-centric but i don't know what the fuck happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28839021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvidReader77/pseuds/AvidReader77
Summary: Dream has wormed his way into Tommy's mind, manipulating every thought and action he takes. He makes Tommy believe he's nothing, and that no one is there for him. Tommy believes him, and figures there's only one way to stop being a waste of space.An unsuspecting Technoblade is thrown into action as a distressed Tubbo is crying and asking Techno questions he doesn't know the answers to, wishing to know where his best friend is.It had been weeks, and no one had heard from him.Techno would find his brother and save him from whatever was holding him down.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Ensemble & TommyInnit, Floris | Fundy & Phil Watson, Floris | Fundy & Sapnap, Floris | Fundy & TommyInnit, Sapnap & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade
Comments: 224
Kudos: 1181





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream finally tipped Tommy over the edge. He had broken the unbreakable. Techno finds his brother before the broken becomes unfixable.  
> TW- suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, self deprecating thoughts, manipulation, crying, depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fleshed-out version from my oneshots book! Come get y'all juice-

He had nothing. Absolutely nothing kept him going. 

Dream had stopped visiting. He only came over once a week to destroy his things and rough him up a bit, and to remind him how worthless he was. Tommy didn't need to be reminded, for his mind already supplied those thoughts to him every waking second of every god forsaken day. Dream had broken the portal, and he had completely torn it down while Tommy was on his knees, begging him to stop. Dream had said that he was only doing this so he wouldn't get his hopes up, and that he wouldn't try to sneak into L'manberg while he was away. 

He was right, he was always right. No one visited him because he deserved not to be visited. He was terrible, and he hurt Tubbo. Dream had told him that Tubbo never talked about him, and that he would scoff and sneer if his name was even brought up. Dream didn't tell Tommy that Tubbo had asked him every single day where Tommy was, and that he had tears in his eyes on some days. He didn't tell Tommy that he overheard Tubbo sobbing into Fundy's arms saying how much he missed him and what a poor decision he made. Tommy didn't need to know, so he didn't tell him. 

Tubbo had gone searching desperately in the Nether after Ranboo told him there was a portal, but he came out disappointed and broken-spirited. Dream didn't tell Tubbo that he had broken all portals that led to Tommy, and that he had broken the obsidian path he had made. The only way to get to him now was by boat, and no one other than Dream knew where he was. Dream had told the worried Wilbur that Tommy had found a better vacation spot, and that he was so,  _ so  _ happy in his new home in the sunny tropics. Wilbur had beamed at him and started to write letters to Tommy for Dream to give to him, and he was only a little sad when no letters came back. Dream didn't need to tell Wilbur that Tommy was still in that miserable tent only a thousand or so blocks away, and that he burnt the letters as soon as he was out of view. 

Tommy was so tired. He knew that no one was going to help him, and that no one cared about him. While he was crying, Dream had told him that everyone was so much happier without him there, and that they never even spoke his name. Tommy was still hurt, but he was happy knowing that  his friends  everyone was doing okay. He told this to Dream, and he had only agreed with him. 

Dream was so nice to him. He had finally smacked some sense into him, and he had finally made him see the truth. To think that everyone was only pretending to be his friend… he was so  _ stupid  _ not to see it sooner. 

_ Tommy was leaning his head on Dream’s shoulder watching the waves crash onto the shore. Dream’s arm was around his shoulder, and he said nothing as Tommy sobbed quietly.  _

_ He thought that people would come to see him, that someone would even bother to look. He had been optimistic despite his hope dwindling, but still, the only person that saw him was Dream. He really had been a friend since the start, he just didn’t know it until now. When he had seen Dream step through the portal that day, he had run to him and jumped into his waiting arms. It was getting colder as the weeks went on, and Dream was the perfect heater. He also missed hugs and casual touches, but he would never say it out loud.  _

_ “Dream! I haven't made any tools since the last time you were here! I didn't make any armor, either!” Tommy was beaming up at Dream’s porcelain mask, hoping that his good behavior would maybe reward him in new clothes or a warmer tent. He was confused when Dream let out a sad sigh, and started petting his hair. _

_ “That’s great, Tommy.” Tommy looked up at him with worried eyes. Dream sounded so sad, and he didn’t know why. Dream noticed his worried look, and ushered him down to the shore. “I never wanted you to find out, but I can’t stand it anymore- seeing you like a puppy waiting for a treat.” _

_ That was when Dream told him. He had finally told him that everyone had faked being his friend, and that they were only staying around him not to be rude. Tommy desperately didn’t want to believe it. _

_ “But Tubbo? Techno? Phil? Wilbur? I’ve known them for ages, they don’t actually hate me, do they?” He looked to Dream, desperate to cling to any hope he could have. All that he got from Dream was a head shake. _

_ “They all told me… that they were happy they didn’t have to keep pretending anymore.”  _

_ Tommy could swear he could feel his last heart break. _

That had been days or even weeks ago. He didn’t bother counting the days anymore. There was no point. He felt like a husk- emotionless and vacant. Dream visited him once or twice. He had heard the swish of the portal particles, and he heard Dream’s feet crunch in the snow. 

Dream had thought that Tommy had made a mad dash to L’Manberg when he was gone. There was no hug, no ‘Dream!’ there was nothing. “Tommy?” He didn’t hear any response. He went to the crater of Logstedshire, and he saw nothing. He was getting worried now. He never thought that Tommy would run off. He knew that he had one hope left to find him- at that was his tent. As he made his way up to the tent, he was relieved to see that Tommy was lying in bed. “Oh, there you are. You didn’t come to see me, so I thought you ran off. Are you okay?” 

Tommy didn’t even spare a glance. He was lying on his back, his eyes glazed and unfocused, staring at the top of his tent. There were red spots under his eyes. His blanket was going unused underneath him, and Dream could see the tips of Tommy’s fingers and his nose starting to get red. It looked as though after he left last night, Tommy had just flopped on the bed, and had hardly moved for hours. “Tommy?” 

The only response he got was a slow blink as tears started to stream down his face. Dream left the tent, not even bothering to say goodbye. He had done it. 

_ Finally. _

He had broken the unbreakable. He had shattered the most high spirited person he knew as though he were made of glass. There was no way he would resist Dream’s takeover now. Tubbo was strong, but Tommy was really the only one keeping L’Manberg afloat. There was nothing stopping him now. He had won.

The people that saw him later that day were confused by the skip in his step, but they didn’t say anything.

Tommy had only moved once in the hours that Dream had been gone. He only had to move because his bladder was full to bursting, and it was physically painful at that point. He didn’t bother going back to his tent. He stumbled down to the shore and fell onto his back, looking at the steadily rising moon. He watched for hours as the moon rose higher in the sky, picking himself up just before the moon hit its peak.

_ He was a waste of space. _

_ He's so tired.  _

_ So numb.  _

He doesn't feel the cold winds around him. 

Tommy doesn't even know that his feet are moving. He slowly drags himself from the shore, his matted hair blowing in the wind, and he slowly scales the small hill next to what was left of Logstedshire. Dream had blown it up once he found his secret stash of goods, but that had happened weeks ago. He knew now that he was being stupid, and that Dream was right.

He slowly built a tower that reached to the skies, and he looked at the rising moon as he wished the world goodbye.

Techno had no idea what was going on. He had no idea that Tommy was even in exile. He inhabited his cabin in the woods for most of his days, happily reading books while the voices raged on. It was nice having time for himself, and to stay on the down low for once in his life. That didn't stop him from going into the Nether and slaughtering so many wither skeletons that he lost count only to get their heads and put them in his bunker, but no one needed to know about that. Chaos made the voices quiet, and he was planning on a lot of chaos. 

He stepped through the community Nether portal and walked to L'Manberg. He wanted to see what they had done to the place after he and Will blew it up. He was being a tourist today, not the Blood God. He was not expecting to be tackled as soon as he reached the city. His sword was already drawn, but what was leaning on his chest stopped him. Tubbo leaned on him, looking into his eyes with tears. He could see cuts forming on the president from his thorns armor, but that didn't bother Tubbo. He shook Techno's shoulders with vigor, and Techno could hardly hear the words he was saying. He put his hands in front of him, and he motioned for Tubbo to get off of him. He stood up, and Tubbo was talking to him again.

"Do you know where he is? Please, Techno, it's been so long-"

Techno was confused. Why was Tubbo so stressed? "What's wrong? Do I know where  _ who  _ is?"

Tubbo slammed his hands against Techno's chest as sobs broke out of him. 

"Tommy. Dream made me exile him, Techno, it's been weeks and none of us have seen him, you  _ have to know  _ where he is, please!"

Techno's demeanor completely changed. He went from slightly irritated and confused to serious within a matter of seconds. He knew that Dream didn't like that Tommy was so disobedient, but he never thought that he would worm his way so far into Tubbo's mind that he would make him exile his best friend. If it had been weeks, then Tommy was alone, in the cold, with nothing to keep him company but the thoughts in his head.. Tubbo was one of the nicest people he had ever met, and to think that Dream had done this to him made him furious. 

"Where did Dream take him? What direction?" Tubbo silently pointed to his right, and muttered a single word. 

_ Hurry. _

Techno had never used his trident faster. He was soaring over the sea, hoping to see an island or a body of land somewhere. He knew that where he lived was a bit to the right, and he knew that that was the first landmass Dream probably saw. He kicked himself, he should have left his house and explored in the weeks he had stayed there. He could think about his stupidity later, but right now, the only thing that mattered was Tommy. 

His feet hit the snow covered sand, and his eyes widened at the desolate area. There was no time to explore, because something caught Techno's eye. On the hill to his right, there was a tower that reached the clouds. He could see something growing ever smaller moving on the top, and he knew that it was Tommy. 

He was going to jump.

He ran to the base of the hill as fast as his legs would go, and he let out a terrified gasp when he saw the figure at the top slowly plummet to the ground. 

_ "TOMMY!" _

The falling boy looked at the man clad in robes, and he sent him a wave. He shut his eyes, knowing he was nearing the ground.

_ Finally. _

_ Over. _

_ Tired. _

_ Alone. _

_ Warm. _

_ Wilbur.  _

_ End.  _

_ Goodbye, Tubbo.  _

The impact never came. 

Tommy slowly opened his eyes to see that he was in the arms of Technoblade, who had cobwebs surrounding him. He was running his fingers through his hair, looking down at the broken teenager. He had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill out. Techno had never been so happy that that stupid haunted house existed. He was going to use cobwebs for decorations, and he was  _ so  _ happy that he had some aesthetic sense.

"Why did you stop me?"

The tears flowed. Techno merely held Tommy to his chest, sobbing into his hair. Tommy only looked up at the sky, wishing that Techno had never found him. 

The moon looked nice. The moon had always been there for him, being a constant reminder that there was  _ something  _ in the world that watched him. He wished that it didn't. 

"Techy?"

Techno pushed himself to look at Tommy. He hadn't called him that in years. Tommy had only called him that when he couldn’t pronounce his full name. The only other times he remembered him calling him that was when he was sick out of his mind and delirious or waking up from a nightmare. He never called him that because he said it made him seem weak and ‘un-man-like.’ Techno’s eyes were wide and full of emotion, staring into Tommy's blank ones. 

"Can you kill me, please?"

Techno's heart shattered. He sniffled, and he slowly stood up with Tommy in tow. He didn't even try to fight being carried. He didn't wriggle around, and he didn't move closer to Techno. He was simply still, staring up into the stars. Techno looked at him, and he received a blank stare in response.

"Why, Theseus?"

Tommy's blank eyes started to water. Techno sounded so broken and sad, and he had done that to him. It was his fault his stoic brother was crying. He was going to get hurt, Techno was going to hurt him for being so selfish and wanting to take his own life-

"I'm s-sorry, Techno, please don't h-hurt me, I don't have anything to give you, but you can kill me if you want, I'm sorry I made you cry, I'm sorrysorrysorrysorry-"

Techno shushed him quietly, and he sat them down at the shore, Tommy sitting in his lap. He brushed his hand through Tommy's hair as he watched Tommy apologize. 

"I'm not going to hurt you, Tommy. I will never, ever hurt you. We don't have to talk about this for a while. I'm taking you home, alright? Hang on."

Techno drew his trident, and Tommy cowered in fear, ducking his head into Technoblade's neck. He started to mumble again, and Techno knew that Dream was going to  _ pay  _ for what he did to Tommy. He was going to  _ slaughter  _ him, and he was going to take his sweet, sweet time. 

That would come later. Now, he placed a boat in the water, and he started to row them away. Tommy hand clung to him since he pulled out the trident, and Techno wasn't going to stop him.

"Techy?"

"Hm?"

"Why are we going this way? Dream said that I wasn't allowed in L'Manberg. No one wants me there. Why are we going there?"

Oh, he was going to take every one of Dream's lives himself.

"I can deal with Dream, Tommy. You aren't in the right space to hear something, so just get some sleep. I'll wake you up when we get there."

Tommy let out a confused huff, but he was warmer and more tired than he had been in a while. Falling asleep wasn't difficult at all. Techno looked down at his exhausted brother, and he promised to himself that he would never let anyone hurt Tommy while he was still around. He knew that dealing with what Dream had done wasn't going to be a walk in the park, but he was going to wait with Tommy every second he was recovering. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day in the future I will read my writing and recoil in disgust. Cringe ass nae nae bb


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno brings Tommy into L'Manberg, and the group of people coming for Dream's lives grow.  
> TW- suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide attempt, anxiety

Technoblade rowed their boat steadily, not wanting to wake up Tommy. He knew that Tommy probably hadn't gotten proper sleep in a long time if the bags under his eyes said anything, but he didn't want to risk it. Tommy was currently sitting across from him in the boat, his own cape acting as a blanket for the sleeping teen. For being 6'1, he somehow made himself look so unbelievably small. Normally he would take up all the space in a room, wanting to gain everyone's attention. Right now, he hid in the shadows and hid behind backs, not wanting to be seen at all. Tommy may never tell him what Dream said or did to him to make him this way, and that was okay. All he needed to know was whether Dream wanted to be buried in the lava pits of the Nether or if he wanted to be burnt using his own damn TNT. 

He could feel himself starting to slip. He could feel his nose burning and his mouth aching, begging to transform into his piglin appearance. He took a deep breath, and willed himself to calm down. There would be a time when the Blood God would come out full force, but it was not that time right now. If Tommy flinched and cowered at the sight of a trident, a  _ flying  _ trident, then he could guess that seeing the Blood God when he woke up would send him into a flurry of panic. Techno didn’t need to be the Blood God right now- he needed to be a big brother right now, and that meant making sure that Tommy was okay, and that he wasn't drowning in his own mind. Tommy would normally tackle him at the slightest inclination that he was being 'babied' even if the babying was just worry. Tommy was made of fine China, and there were cracks on the edges, slowly seeping into the center. 

He  _ needed  _ to be treated gently right now, or else he would shatter.

Techno slowly brought his boat to a stop as he reached the shore of L'Manberg. It was the dead of night, so he didn't expect to see anyone awake. He had planned on going to Phil's house and have Tommy stay there with them while he recovered. He didn't want anyone to be fussing over Tommy right now because that might make the situation worse. He had asked him a single question and he had broken down into tears, frantically apologizing for making him worry. Having his best friend have the same reaction would cause the cracks to get even deeper, and pieces may start to break off. 

He needed to be around level headed, calm people, like himself and Phil. 

He did  _ not  _ need to be around an arsonist that had an obsession with killing pets. 

Technoblade had just stepped onto the shore with Tommy in his arms, and Sapnap's head turned to him. He had bounded down the docks and had ran down to the sand, wanting to speak to Technoblade. He was wearing his armor, but he didn't want to fight. "Hey, Techno! Hey! I have something to ask you- WHAT THE HELL!"

A sword was pointed at his throat.

"If you wake him up, if you do anything to hurt a hair on his head, I will drive this sword through your throat, and I won't make it pretty."

Sapnap was shocked. He had never seen Techno like this before, and he hadn't even noticed the bundle in his arms that he was somehow holding with one hand. He put his hand on the top of the sword and lowered it down, silently saying that he wasn't going to do anything. He was afraid of Technoblade normally, but he sounded so calm, cold, and steady in his threat that it sent shivers down his spine. If he even looked at whatever he was holding, he knew that he was going to die. Sapnap stepped back slowly, hands defensively in the air. He got a closer look at what Techno was holding, and he had to bite back a gasp when the top of Techno's cape revealed a head of blonde hair.

It was Tommy. 

"Hey! He shouldn't be here, like, at all. You do realize that I have to... oh my god. Oh my  _ god."  _ Sapnap got a look at Tommy, and his words got quieter with every second. He hadn't seen Tommy in weeks, but that was only because Dream had told him not to visit. He trusted what Dream said, so he didn't think he had to see him at all. He realized at that second that Dream was a dirty, awful, terrible liar, and that he had hurt a kid. 

A child.

_ So had he.  _

The cape had slipped, showering Tommy’s face in moonlight. Tommy was pale and gaunt, and his hair was tangled to his head. There were patches of dirt and  _ blood  _ on his skin, and there were remnants of bruises and cuts littered all along his face and neck. Hell, he was even missing a shoe. When he had visited, he had played around a bit and jabbed at Tommy and his situation, but he was met with bright, angry eyes, and witty comebacks. The boy in front of him right now was small and scared, and he hadn't done anything to prevent it. He took a deep shuddering breath, and Techno saw a dangerous glint in his black eyes. There was a fire behind them, and he drew his sword again, thinking that Sapnap was angry at him for taking his brother out of exile. What Sapnap said shocked him.

"I am going to  _ kill  _ Dream."

Techno stood silently, his eyes wide at Sapnap's statement. Sapnap continued talking, and he didn't stop him.

"He told me that Tommy was going to be  _ fine,  _ he just wouldn't be allowed back. God, I'm so  _ stupid,  _ I should've seen him, I shouldn't have accepted Dream's words so blindly, oh my god, I should have  _ seen  _ him, it's been weeks, Dream forced nice, little, bee-loving Tubbo to do this to his best friend, and he lied to all of us about what was happening to a  _ child.  _ I'm going to murder him-"

He stopped talking, and looked over at Techno, who had just been listening silently. 

"Why now? Did something happen?"

Techno looked down sadly at Tommy, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

"He..." Techno felt like he could trust Sapnap. He thought that he was a good judge of character, and he could tell that Sapnap wasn't lying. He could practically feel the rage coming off of Sapnap, and he knew that he was just another person that Dream had wrapped around his little finger. He took in a breath, and spoke to Sapnap, who was waiting for an answer.

"He tried to jump, Sapnap."

Sapnap stared blankly at Tommy, and his face was expressionless as tears slowly started to fall down his face. He fell to his knees, and put his head in his hands.  _ He  _ contributed to this. He had put Tommy into a war that he was too young for, and he had caused him so much pain. He had caused the same pain to Tubbo, who was barely older than Tommy.

He was going to make it up to them if it was the last thing he did.

Sapnap's cries slowly roused the teen sleeping in Techno's arms. His head slowly shifted and turned towards the source of the noise, and his sleep-riddled mind was able to tell that he had made someone cry again. He started to apologize, when soft shushing met his ears. He felt himself being taken away from the warmth at his side, and his blanket shifted so his skin hit the cold winter air. He let out a whine, and then he was back into another pair of arms. A much warmer pair of arms. His blanket was back around his shoulders, and he sank into the warmth that these arms provided. He didn't know who it was that he was in the arms of, but he was warm and being held, so he didn't care. He could feel the person holding him walking, and he could hear them humming, and he let their steps and their song lull him back to sleep. 

Phil's eyes turned red when he saw his child in Sapnap's arms. He saw that Techno was by his side, and he was confused. He thought that Sapnap had hurt his child, and that he was showing him what he had done. His confusion turned to worry when he saw the tears streaming down Sapnap's face, and the ever reddening tint of Techno's skin, his teeth slightly poking out from his bottom lip. 

The arsonist and the Blood God walked into the angel's house with a dying flame in their arms.

"Phil, before you say anything, Sapnap is alright, and he can be trusted. Just help Tommy,  _ please, _ and I'll explain what happened."

It was morning by the time they all stopped crying. Phil was shocked, and he wanted nothing more than to say that everything was going to be okay to his youngest son, who was now covered head to toe in bandages. He wanted to hold his son in his arms and apologize for never trying to see him. He wanted to apologize for listening to Dream. He wanted to hold him, and to never let go. Tommy's clothes were so flimsy and useless that they had to dress him in new ones. Out of all of them, none of their clothes would fit, but Phil volunteered to give Tommy some of his clothes. His green tunic and pants were far too long for Tommy, but they were the warmest pair of clothes that he had, and he knew that Tommy needed warmth right now. His skin was constantly freezing, and he didn't want to risk hypothermia. 

As the sun slowly rose, so did Tommy. He didn't know where he  _ was,  _ where was  _ Dream, oh god Dream was gonna kill him for the stunt that he pulled- _

"Tommy! Calm down, please. You're breathing way too fast."

"P-Phil?" Tommy wasn't supposed to have any visitors. No one liked him, so why was Phil in his tent? "Phil what are you doing here? I'm sorry, you can't be near me or Dream is gonna hurt me  _ and  _ you, I'm sorry, I don't have anything to give you, uhm, you can take my last life if you want to!"

Phil started to shush Tommy as he worked himself into hysterics. Tommy grasped onto Phil like a lifeline as his shaking bones slowly started to ease. He took a look around him, and he realized that he wasn't in his tent or Techno's house. He was in L'Manberg.  _ Dream was going to kill him.  _ His eyes widened when he saw Sapnap staring at him with wide eyes. He sat up and backed himself into the corner of the bed, covering his hands with his face as he begged Sapnap not to kill him. Sapnap was merciless, he had fire in his veins, and he knew that the second he walked out that door, he was as good as dead. 

"S-Sapnap? Don't kill me, please, D-Dream said that h-he wanted to be the one to kill me, a-and I don't want him to be angry at you. I-I don't have anything to give you to stop you, I mean I could be a punching bag if you want me to be-"

Sapnap steadily walked forward to the cowering Tommy, and he took his armor off slowly. He treated Tommy like a scared animal, and he held his arms up in front of him. "No one is going to hurt you, Tommy. No one is going to tell Dream, and no one is going to kill you." Tommy looked like he had been told he had three heads.

"W-What? Why wouldn't you kill me? Dream said that I don't matter, and I  _ know  _ I don't, so why not...? Oh, you're making it seem like people like me! Is this a treat? Can I have fake friends for a day before Dream kills me?" All of their hearts broke when Tommy's eyes widened in excitement at the thought of being lied to by his friends. Phil slowly sat down next to Tommy, and looked at him with sad eyes.

"Is that what you really think, Toms?" Tommy looked confused. 

"Of course I do! Dream said that no one likes me and that they were all pretending, and that he was my only friend! No one else visited me, so of course that's what I think, dumba- Phil." Phil let out a sigh. Reversing this damage was going to be harder than he originally thought. He knew that Dream hurt him, but to think that he broke his spirit this much is heartbreaking. 

"Toms, no one saw you because no one knew where you were. Dream closed all the Nether portals-"

"Because I made him mad-"

"Because he wanted to break you, Tommy. All of us wanted to see you, mate."

"But Tubbo-"

"Was manipulated by Dream. Dream told him what to do, and he thought that was the only option. Tubbo has come to me so, so many times, crying about how much he missed you. He even asked me to be the president because he wanted to break his own law-" Tommy was shaking. His hands were in his hair, clenching the golden strands like his life depended on it.

"Stop lying, Phil. Stop, please, please, please stop, don't hurt me,  _ Dream!" _

Sapnap and Techno were at his side in an instant, simply holding him close and whispering reassurances into his ears. Phil sighed as he rubbed circles into Tommy's back, trying to calm him down. He knew that he had thrown too much information on the teen at one time, and they were paying the consequences for it.

"U-Uhm, can someone do me a favor before I die?" Sapnap was in front of Tommy, wiping away his tears.

"What can we do for you, Toms? Water? A blanket?" 

Tommy shook his head wordlessly and shakily handed something to Sapnap.

_ "Please." _

It was a scuffed compass, with scratches and nicks all over it. On it, engraved, were two words:

_ Your Tubbo _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being dead lol


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo reflects on where he went wrong and Sapnap intervenes when he needed a distraction most.  
> TW- suicidal thoughts, manipulation, threats, mentions of past violence (PLEASE TELL ME IF MORE NEED TO BE ADDED)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ IT AND WEEP BITCHES

Tubbo was miserable in the White House. He was up to his eyes in paperwork, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He had been up for hours at this point. He had to sign off construction permits to Él Rapids, and he had their independence to sort out. He wanted nothing more than to curl up under his desk and sleep, but he knew he had to work. He let himself slip for a bit. He looked to the pictures he had on his desk and he felt nothing but pain. They were pictures of him and Tommy and the members of L’Manberg, all smiling and happy. There were even some pictures from Pogtopia that captured the more lighthearted moments shared, like Wilbur painstakingly drawing on Techno’s face while trying not to wake him up. Tommy was in the corner, a hand clamped over his mouth to stifle his laughs, and Tubbo was behind the camera trying to quiet his own laughter.

He didn’t realize he was crying until he saw his teardrops hit the glass casing of the picture frame. He missed Tommy. He missed him so, _so_ much. He hardly knew what he was doing when he made the call to exile him. 

Dream had come to him in the White House to talk the night before. 

_“Listen, Tubbo, shhhhh, shhhhhh, it’s okay. If Tommy was out of the picture, there would be no need for tears. You wouldn’t be clinging to me like this, and L’Manberg would be at peace.” Tubbo sniffled into Dream’s sweater. Tubbo knew that what Tommy did was minute in the scheme of things, and that he should be charged with something more fair._

_“Dream, I-I think it would just be easier if we had him rebuild George’s house, or to give him some materials. You know he does things like this, Dream.” Tubbo flinched when Dream let out a groan of frustration and slammed his hands on the coffee table they were sitting at._

_“Don’t you see it, Tubbo? Tommy is the one who started all of this. He’s the reason why L’Manberg isn’t the way it used to be. He’s the reason Wilbur got killed._ He’s _the reason why all of this happened! He’s a child, Tubbo! He can’t keep living like this!” Tubbo let his words sink in. It made sense, what Dream said._

_Tommy really had been the root of all their problems. He didn’t have to spur things out of proportion the way he did, but he always did. Maybe, if Tommy was away, Wilbur wouldn’t have died. He didn’t want to do it, but Dream made him know that it was what had to be done. He sniffled into his arms, and smiled up at Dream._

_“Thank you, Dream. He is acting like a child, and he needs to be put in time-out for a bit.” The small sliver of Dream’s mouth he could see beamed at him, and he ruffled Tubbo’s hair._

_“See? Now you know why it has to be done. You’re a very reasonable president, Mr. Tubbo.”_

That was the end of that. Tubbo took what Dream said to heart, and he realized that Tommy really _was_ the root of all of their problems. He cared more about his discs than his country, and he acted irrationally. Tubbo couldn’t believe Wilbur let him get away with his behavior when he was president, but he wasn’t going to be like Wilbur. He loved Tommy with all his heart, but he needed to be the president right now, not his best friend. With absolute certainty in his decision, he sent Tommy away. 

When Dream came back without Tommy or Wilbur, he swung his arm around Tubbo’s shoulder, and he congratulated him on his decision. 

_“Tubbo, if you ever need some advice, my door is always open.” Dream then took his trident and flew off into the horizon. Tubbo was left with Fundy and Quackity, who were silently seething while Dream was away. They hadn’t said a word._

_The silence was deafening._

_“Tubbo, what the hell were you thinking? We decided on an answer to this together! What happened to that?”_

_“Are you buddies with Dream now? Did you forget what he did to you? To Tommy? To L’Manberg? What happened to you, man?”_

_“I can’t believe you would ditch Tomy like that.”_

_“You know, you really might be the next Schlatt.” Tubbo threw his hands up at that last comment. He glared at Fundy and Quackity who galred right back._

_“I did what I had to do. I made the smartest decision I could to protect the country. Who do you think caused L’Manberg to end up like this? ‘Cause it wasn’t me. Don’t you two see? Tommy was the cause of all of this, and he needs to atone for his actions! He’s the reason L’Manberg crumbled! He’s the reason Wilbur is dead!” Tubbo was seething with anger. His face was red, and his eyes were wide. His voice had risen, and it had shrunk the two men in front of him. Fundy was the first to speak._

_“Tubbo, you can’t really mean that, right?” Tubbo shook his head and stalked away. He turned around to them before going to the White House._

_“Dream is the only goddamn honest one around here. He’s the only one that tells things like it is. I woke up, but you two haven’t. My god..” With that he walked off, mumbling angrily to himself. Fundy and Quackity shared a look._

_“What did Dream do to him?”_

Tubbo only realized what had happened too late. He was sitting in his office chair the morning after he exiled Tommy, sifting through papers that had yet to be sorted. He was mindlessly reading them and filing them when one broke him out of his daze. It was a simple letter, one that had obviously been opened dozens of times before. It was dated to the middle of the first war, and it only had a smiley face on the front to identify who sent the letter. Tubbo knew it was from Dream, but he wondered why he had never seen it before. Will usually sent him to get letters as errand boy, and he would’ve remembered this one. He opened the envelope and looked at the almost blank piece of paper in his hands.

_Don’t forget about_ Nightmare.

Those were the only words the letter had on it. _Nightmare_ was Dream’s sword. Tubbo’s world came crashing down around him. 

Dream was the one that wanted violence, not Tommy.

Dream threatened them all.

Dream had taken their lives.

Tommy was the one that spurred the action forward, but Dream was the one that called for action in the first place. Tubbo sprang out of his seat, his hands shaking as he pulled his hair. 

_What had he done?_

He let out a blood curdling scream as his world fell apart. 

That had been weeks ago. He had tried so hard to find Tommy. He started to go out at night, sailing away to find his best friend. The only thing that got in his way was Dream. He seemed to be everywhere where Tubbo didn’t need him to be, and Dream would follow Tubbo for hours to make sure he didn’t stray from his decision.

“You didn’t back out, did you?”

“What about our talk?”

“You know he would have done the same to you.”

Tubbo wanted nothing more than to ditch his work and look for Tommy. But the phrase _‘Don’t forget about_ Nightmare’ rang over and over in his head. He was on one life, and Dream could stick his sword through his heart at a moment’s notice without regret or remorse. The last thing that Dream said to him stuck with him, as well.

There was no way Tommy would ever forgive him for what he did. He probably hated him. He would never want to see him. He would have done the same thing to Tubbo.

Tubbo stopped searching. 

Tubbo hadn’t realised that he was staring blankly at his desk for five minutes until loud banging on his door brought his attention away from his memories. He rubbed his eyes and blinked away his tears, bracing himself for whatever Quackity _had_ to show him at this hour of the night. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Sapnap’s voice on the other side of the door. “Tubbo? Are you in here? Please, you gotta open the door, Tommy-” Tubbo was swinging the door open so fast he was sure he broke one of the hinges. 

“What in the hell would you know about Tommy? Are you doing this to hurt me? Is that what this is? Is this some cruel joke, Sapnap? Have you finally come to end me permanently?” Sapnap shook his head and put his hand over his mouth. 

“Oh my god you’re the _same person-_ whatever. Just come with me.” Sapnap grabbed onto Tubbo’s wrist and started dragging him into the hallway. Tubbo tried to pry his wrist off and worm his way back into his office, not understanding what was happening. 

“Sap, just let me go! I need to work! Why are you here, anyways?” Sapnap groaned and looked at Tubbo with wide, pleading eyes. There were tears on his lower lashes, and his face was splotchy. He had clearly been crying before this. “Sapnap, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” Sapnap looked down at him and thrust something into his hands. 

“Help him, Tubbo.” 

Tubbo looked at the object in his hands. It was scuffed and dented and worn away in some places, but Tubbo recognized what it was as soon as he laid his eyes on it. 

He had the exact same thing. 

His hands shook as he looked up at Sapnap. He couldn’t believe this. This was Tommy’s compass that Dream told him he burned. “Wh-what? How did you…?” Tubbo could see his previously dried tears sparkle on the golden compass in his hands. He hadn’t comprehended what was truly happening until he wondered how Sapnap had gotten his compass. “How did you get this, Sapnap?” Sapnap shook his head and took Tubbo by the hand and led him out of the White House, and this time Tubbo didn’t put up a fight.

“Tommy gave it to me. He wanted to see you.” Tubbo didn’t understand. 

“How could he give it to you? I couldn’t find him when I looked, so he must be tens of thousands of blocks away. Dream _and_ you would slaughter him if he even thought about stepping foot in L’Manberg. The last thing he would want to do is see the person who exiled him, Sapnap. Let this drop, please.” His voice quivered with his last sentence. 

“Let what drop, Tubs?” Tubbo let out a crude laugh and glared at Sapnap, though his hand still remained snugly in Sapnap’s.

“This joke. This cruel, _awful_ joke. This isn’t his compass. He destroyed it. You actually made a new one and scuffed it up to make me believe he still cared about me, that he wanted to see me. If you wanted to hurt me, you could’ve just killed me. I wouldn’t have stopped you, at this point.” 

He heard Sapnap suck in a breath. They were almost at the spruce path that led to the citizen’s houses when Sapnap spun him around and held him by the shoulders. “Do you really mean that, Tubbo?” It was Tubbo’s turn to stutter. 

He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

“So what if I do? It’s not like you haven’t taken one of my lives before. What’s the difference if I take my last one myself? It’s not like anybody cares. Tommy hates me.” Sapnap gripped him by the shoulders so hard that his knuckles turned white. His hands were warming up, and Tubbo could swear he could see flames in his eyes.

“Don’t you say that. Don’t you _ever_ say that. Everybody on this damn server loves you and Tommy more than you will ever know, so don’t you _dare_ leave like that. Tommy cares about you so goddamn much it’s not even funny. Look at that compass, Tubbo! That has seen swords and axes and flames and water, and Tommy still held onto it like a lifeline. Why do you think I came to get you?”

Tubbo was looking at Sapnap with wide eyes. It sounded like he actually cared about him. Why had he come to him?

“Why?” Sapnap took in a deep breath, and let out an exhale. The steam from his breath caused the compass to fog over, and Tubbo could see the worn out letters on the back of the compass.

_Your Tubbo_

“He asked for me to get you, that’s why. I think you two need to see each other more than you realize.” 

With that they opened the door to Phil’s house and stepped into the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you guess that the arsonist isn't 100% human ?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tommy and Tubbo talk upstairs, Phil, Sapnap, and Techno have an eye opening conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You wanted Tommy and Tubbo angst? You wanted that? Maybe some fluff? No. You get that next chapter :D  
> TW- mentions of possible self harm, mentions of suicidal thoughts/suicide, manipulation by the Green Bastard

Techno, Phil, and Tommy all heard the door slam open from the upstairs bedroom loft where they slept. Techno and Phil knew that Sapnap just wanted to get back to Tommy as soon as possible, but he seemed to forget that even moving too fast would make Tommy flinch. He covered his ears and nestled further into Phil, who had not left his side since he woke up. Phil only ran his hand through Tommy’s hair and ushered Techno down the ladder to meet Tubbo and Sapnap. 

As Techno slowly descended from the loft, he saw a confused president holding hands with an arsonist like it was the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth. Tubbo opened his mouth to speak, but Techno held a finger to his lips and moved them all outside. As soon as the door to Phil’s house was shut, he was met with a barrage of questions and tears from Tubbo.

“Techno? What’s happening? Is Tommy really here? Is he okay? Is he hurt? Is he-” Techno shushed him gently.

“Listen, Tubbo. Tommy isn’t okay right now, but all of us are going to fix that. Those weeks in exile hurt him, Tubbo. It’s like… he’s broken.” Tubbo flinched. “He asked specifically for you, so that’s why Sapnap brought you here. When you see him, just be gentle. If you do  _ anything  _ that will set him off…” Techno’s hand slowly drifted to his sword. Tubbo gulped and nodded, quietly walking into the house with Techno and Sapnap. Phil was in the living room, searching through chests and picking up every blanket and sweater he found. Techno cleared his throat, and Phil turned around.

“Phil, why aren’t you with Tommy? There’s nothing dangerous up there, right? No knives or swords?” Phil shook his head. 

“I was organizing yesterday, so anything dangerous is in a chest in the basement. I wouldn’t be down here if there was, Techno. Tommy wanted more blankets, and I was sure that there were no sharp objects up there, so I came down to get them. You aren’t the only worried one here, Techno.” Phil put his hand on Techno’s shoulder, blankets hung over his other arm as he gave it a comforting grasp. He turned to Tubbo and sighed, sadness in his eyes. “Tubbo, just know that all of us know that Dream was behind this, and that you only did what you could in that moment. This isn’t your fault, and we all know it. When you see Tommy-” Tubbo nodded hurriedly.

“I know, I know. Be gentle. Now can I  _ please  _ see him now? Please?” Phil looked into Tubbo’s eyes. Phil saw the tears there, and he saw the bruises and red marks under his eyes as well. He thought that Tubbo and Tommy were halves of the same coin at that moment. Tommy and Tubbo both had a certain numbness in their eyes that Phil had only seen in battle scarred warriors, and not teenagers. They needed to heal, and he would make sure they would heal together.

“He’s upstairs, Tubbo. We’ll be right here if you need us.” 

Tubbo scurried up the ladder, and Phil, Techno, and Sapnap were left alone. Sapnap sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. He walked over and sat on Phil’s couch with a loud thud and shakily exhaled into his hands. As his shoulders slowly shook, Phil and Techno made their way over to him. Phil started rubbing a hand on his back while Techno sat at his side, his hands in his lap. Sapnap knew he wasn’t a physical person, but he appreciated his company anyway. Phil didn’t know Sapnap very much, but he couldn’t just leave someone crying without comfort. “It’s gonna be okay, mate. They’re gonna be okay.” Sapnap shook his head and looked at Phil with teary eyes. 

“Phil, I know that Dream hurt Tommy, but he hurt Tubbo, too. Do you know what he said to me, Phil?” Phil shook his head, but he had a guess that made his heart heavy. 

“When we were walking here, he said,” he took in a shuddering breath as he continued, “he said that he wouldn’t care if I took his last life, and that it wouldn’t have made a difference if he took his _ own _ last life. W-what did I  _ do  _ to these  _ kids?”  _ Sapnap sobbed into his hands as Phil and Techno shared a worried glance. When Tubbo visited him, he should have known. He should have noticed. He’s seen a broken soldier’s eyes before, but he told himself that Tubbo was just exhausted from being president. The bags under his eyes proved that, but Tubbo loved L’Manberg, and being its president should send him over the moon. Yet there was nothing but sorrow in his eyes, and Phil mentally slapped himself for not stepping in.

It was just another son he had failed to help.

He sighed, and gently took Sapnap’s arm and pried his hands away from his face. He looked so scared, and all Phil wanted to do was help him. He opened his mouth to console him when a jarring though came into his mind. 

“Sapnap?”

“Yeah?”

“How old are you?”

“I’m nineteen, but I’m almost twenty. Why?”

“Oh, my god.” The reality of this SMP dawned on him. There were teenagers fighting in brutal wars, and people barely older than them fighting as well. A man that was younger than him was leading children into battle, and no one had done anything to stop it. Phil and Schlatt were the eldest by a landslide, overtaking their peers in age by a decade or more. 

A blonde with a god complex was using children as chess pieces and no one stopped him. They had let it get to this point. 

Phil could feel his fingers hardening into talons, and he could feel a tingle in his head as his horns slowly grew in. He knew that he might be scaring Sapnap and Techno, but he didn’t care. He let his black scales crawl up his neck and down his arms. He let his tail phase into existence, and he let his teeth grow and his eyes shine with dark magic. He let out an exhale, and purple sparks came out of his mouth, settling on his lap. When he spoke, it was like all the anger in the world was now in one voice. 

“I am going to kill Dream.”

Sapnap sucked in a breath. Phil continued speaking. 

“He sent kids into war. He took the lives of people he knew. He let children wage wars that he  _ knew _ they would lose. He hurt my sons. He hurt my grandson.  _ He won’t let me go home.”  _

Phil was breathing heavily at this point. His eyes were wide with rage, and magic radiated off of him. Techno had moved to sit next to Phil, and was silently leaning on him, moving one of Phil’s hands into his hair. With one touch, Phil seemed to break out of his stone cold rage, and his eyes shifted. He looked excited, and he made quick work of braiding Techno’s hair. With every strand he moved and braided, his talons shrank back into his hands, and his scales receded. When he was done, he let out a sigh. “Thank you, Techno. You always know what to do, and I thank you for that.” Techno grunted, and merely leaned further into Phil.

Sapnap, feeling useless, cleared his throat, and held out his hand to Phil. Phil laughed and took it, happy that Sapnap wanted to help him calm down. As soon as their fingers intertwined, Phil yanked his hand back and let out a hiss of pain. He stared at Sapnap, who stared back curiously. Phil looked at Sapnap, confusion and disgust in his eyes. 

“Did I do something wrong? I thought that you might want a hand to hold or something ‘cause you could’ve just said no-” Phil squashed him, clutching his hand to his chest. He shook his head at Sapnap, and pointed to his ring.

“Sapnap, why the  _ hell _ are you wearing that?” Sapnap raised his hands, and looked at the matching metal rings on his middle fingers. He didn’t understand what Phil meant.

“Are you allergic to the metal or something? I’m pretty sure they’re just iron, so I would be surprised if you were. I… don’t want to take them off. I just won’t touch you. Sorry about that, Phil.” Phil stared at Sapnap in confusion, the pain and discomfort from his hand slowly subsiding. 

“Those rings aren’t iron, Sapnap. They might have an iron base, but they have an awful, painful, evil magic infused in them. The magic hurts hybrids, and they essentially lock up our powers, our extra strength, our everything, and it leaves a disgusting feeling like.. I don’t even know how to describe it. Why do you have them?” 

Sapnap was looking down at his hands in curiosity. “I never knew. Dream gave them to me a little bit after we first met, and he told me that they were protection rings, so that they would help me on adventures. He said he made them himself, and that they were our friendship rings. He has a matching set. I’ve never taken them off.” Sapnap remembers that day fondly. 

_ Sapnap was wandering through the woods, just having left from his village to set out on a grand adventure that he had been planning since he first discovered the tales of knights and builders. He had rambled on and on about finding treasure and exploring the massive world he lived in to his parents since he could talk, and they always just thought his curiosity would simmer out as he got older. _

_ As Sapnap grew, so did his wanderlust.  _

_ He didn’t want to stay still and live in his village and have a nine-to-five job like everybody else. His parents tried desperately to steer him away from the dangerous wilderness, but Sapnap was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. He wanted to explore, to see the world, to meet new people, to venture where only the bravest people had gone before. He wanted to run in hot, sandy deserts. He wanted to camp under the treetops of muggy jungles. He wanted to see the lava lakes in the Nether from the back of a strider. He wanted to swim in the lava, finding gold at the surface, and only pop his head back up when he was about to burn. He wanted to see the world, and gain scars and stories from his adventures.  _

_ His parents only brushed his passion to the side, saying that he would grow out of it. Sapnap had tried to explain it to them, but they never listened. _

_ At least he thought they didn’t. _

_ It was the evening of his sixteenth birthday when his parents brought out a large, wrapped present for the boy. He chuckled, silently happy that his parents still made a big deal out of his birthday. He loves seeing his family and his friends together, and the gifts and emeralds weren’t a bad thing, either. As his mom placed the box in front of him, his eyes widened. This was  _ massive. 

_ “You guys didn’t have to get me something this big! The only thing I need is a new sweater or a new set of shoes, but this is way bigger than both of those combined. What is this?” Sapnap’s dad shoved him, and told him to open it to find out.  _

_ When the wrapping paper was torn and the box was opened, tears were falling down Sapnap’s face as he shot up to hug his parents.  _

_ In the box was a brand new set of leather armour, with a compass placed neatly on top of the set. On it was one word- Home.  _

_ His mother ran her hands through his hair, and she pushed him back so she could look at his beaming face.  _

_ “We knew that we would never be able to keep you here with your spirit. We got you some armour, and a way home if you ever need to see us. We love you so, so much, and we knew that keeping you cooped up in here would only hold you back in life. So go, go explore, go meet new people, go to deserts and jungles and the Nether, and ride a strider over the biggest lake you can find. Make potions, build skyscrapers, find a temple, explore, Firefly. See the world.”  _

_ Sapnap had left the next day as the sun was slowly setting into the horizon.  _

_ On his very first week out, he had met a young man in a mask, sleeping under the stars. The man had ushered him over, and Sapnap sat down next to his campfire, and they didn’t stop talking until the sun came up. He had met Dream- someone barely older than he was, and they had gotten on like a house fire. They decided to adventure together, and the rest was history.  _

_ It was a month into their journey when Dream presented the rings to him. _

_ “Are we getting married? Aw, Dream, you shouldn’t have-” _

_ “Shut up, Sapnap. I made these for you. They’re protection rings, and they’ll lessen any damage you take, that is if I did the enchantments correctly. I have matching ones, so they’re kind of like friendship rings! Do you like them?” _

_ “Dude, you made these? Thank you so much! Of course I like them?” Sapnap had taken the rings out of the box, and he nearly dropped them when he held them. Dream laughed at him, fumbling as he took his own rings. _

_ “I think that’s just part of the enchantment. It’ll go away, don’t worry.” As Sapnap slipped them on, he recoiled at the feeling. It felt so disgusting and wrong, but Dream said that they were protection rings. _

_ He trusted Dream. _

_ He never took off the rings. _

_ The disgust subsided. _

_ He didn’t care about swimming in the Nether anymore.  _

Sapnap couldn’t understand it. He couldn’t. He looked up to Phil and Techno desperately. “Do the rings hurt everyone? Does everyone feel it? The burning? The disgust when they put it on? I haven’t felt it in the three years I’ve worn them, but those first few days were unbearable. Did they hurt Dream when he wore them? He never seemed to feel bad. What- what-?” Sapnap’s breathing had picked up, and Phil was rubbing a hand on his shoulder. He sighed and looked at Techno, who only shrugged uncomfortably. 

This was going to be a difficult conversation.

“Sapnap, listen to me. I know that this will be tough to understand, but only hybrids get hurt by these enchantments.” Sapnap shook his head.

“I’m not a hybrid, though. I-I would have known by now, right?”

“Mate, some hybrids present late. You probably would have earlier if it weren’t for those rings. I know that Quackity only presented a year or two ago, and he’s around your age. If nothing happens by twenty or just a bit after it, then you’re a normal human.”

“So then I’m normal.”

“Normal people aren’t hurt by the enchantments, Sapnap.”

“But my parents are both human! I look just like both of them, and they’ve never gotten a divorce or anything. You’re messing something up, Phil.” 

It was Techno who spoke to Sapnap next. He could tell he was getting overwhelmed, and Techno could tell that Phil’s overly-calm voice wasn’t calming him down. He cleared his throat, and spoke to Sapnap in his monotone voice, hoping to get through to him.

“That’s not normally how it works, Sapnap. That’s how it happened with  _ my  _ parents, but probably not yours. Essentially, sometimes a spirit of a mob or an animal that hasn’t spawned yet floats around, and sometimes it attaches itself to a baby. Normally the spirit drifts away before this can happen, so that’s why hybrids are so rare. Has there ever been an urge or a sound or something that you couldn’t repress? Something that only stopped happening after you put on the rings?”

Sapnap thought. He thought back to his childhood, to things that he could never explain. 

How his nurses thought he always had a fever even though he felt just fine.

How he  _ hated  _ going into water until he put in the rings. 

How all he wanted to do was swim in lava.

How his mom called him Firefly.

How he was never bothered by spicy foods.

How he made one noise when he was stressed that he had only heard on small platforms in Nether fortresses.

All of the pieces started to come together in Sapnap’s mind. He stared at his shaking hands and slowly looked up at Techno. 

“I think I’m a-”

There was a sob from upstairs.

There was a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey follow me on Twitter or whatever @HappyPumpkin19


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Tubbo finally see each other after Tommy's weeks apart in exile.  
> TW- mentions of suicide, mentions of manipulation, TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is honestly just a filler chapter that i'm not that happy with but whatever

As soon as Phil gave him the go ahead, Tubbo was dashing up the ladder to see Tommy. There was still the thought in the back of his mind that this was all some cruel joke, that his friends wanted to see him suffer. He soon came to realize that this wasn’t a joke when he saw the tired eyes of his best friend boring into his. 

He fought back a sob at the sight of him. Tommy was here. He was alive. He was  _ home.  _ As Tubbo fully entered the loft, he could feel Tommy’s eyes on him at all times. As he shucked off his uncomfortable jacket, and he tore off his shoes, as he let his hair stray from its neat position, Tommy’s eyes were on him. Tubbo wanted nothing more than to run into him and never let him go, but he didn’t want to make Tommy uncomfortable with his presidential look. Tubbo sat himself on the bed, and he frowned when he saw the look in Tommy’s eyes. Tommy was staring at him as tears ran down his cheeks.

“A-are you real?” Tubbo’s eyes widened. Tommy was pushing himself forwards, his arm reaching out towards Tubbo. Before he touched his shoulder, his hand started to shake, and it slowly fell on his lap. “You are real, right? I’m not ‘allucinating again, am I? You look more real than the other times I saw you, but that was because of- nevermind. P-please, you are the real Tubbo, right?”

Tubbo felt terrible. Tommy had been  _ hallucinating  _ about seeing him, and he hadn’t found him. He slowly moved his hand and intertwined it with Tommy’s, looking him in the eye as he spoke.

“I’m real, Tommy.”

Tommy broke out into sobs and launched himself into Tubbo’s arms. 

They were a mess of tears and sobs and limbs, and they never wanted to let go of the other. Tommy was sobbing into Tubbo’s shoulder, holding onto his shirt in a death grip. Tubbo was running his hands through Tommy’s hair as he let him sob into his shirt. His own tears were falling into Tommy’s too-long hair that obviously hadn’t seen a brush or a pair of scissors in too long. While he was gone, he couldn’t even brush his hair. Tubbo let in shuddering breaths, and he held Tommy closer.

“I’m sorry. I’m so,  _ so  _ sorry, Tommy.” Tommy went still as he listened to Tubbo speak. “I never wanted this to happen. H-he wormed his way into my fuckin’ head, and I  _ listened  _ to him. He didn’t let me look for you. I couldn’t find you. God, I haven’t slept properly in weeks, Tommy. All I wanted to do was look for you, but he was always there to stop me. With  _ Nightmare.  _ I was too much of a coward to stand up to him, Tommy. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m  _ so sorry.”  _ Tommy pried himself off of Tubbo and watched him cry into his hands. Tommy took his hands away from his eyes, and he gave Tubbo a sad smile.

“You don’t have to keep pretending anymore, Big T. This was nice, but-” Tubbo stopped him.

“But what? What am I doing? What am I pretending to do?” Tubbo sounded so weak and small. His voice was shaking, and his eyes were glassy. More tears came to Tommy’s eyes as his smile faltered a bit.

“Drop the act, please. Don’t make me believe you actually care about me, Tubbo.” Tubbo shook his head and held onto Tommy’s hands tightly. He only loosened his grip when he saw Tommy flinch.

“Tommy, I care about you so much. You’re my best friend, by brother, Tommy. I would never pretend to hate you, and I would  _ never  _ pretend to love you because I don’t have to pretend. You’re my other half, Big Man.” Tommy’s tears started to flow again as Tubbo spoke to him quietly. This couldn’t be real.

“Please, you have to stop. This is too much. Dream told me that you were only pretending to like me this whole time, and that you were only hanging out with me out of pity. I know that this is a treat, but this is too much.  _ Please  _ stop.”

Tubbo was horrified. He saw Tommy as the brash and hot headed leader of the group, the person that always spoke out when Tubbo couldn’t get his words out fast enough. He was the headstrong person that never broke under pressure, that never let the words get to him. Dream had morphed this strong-willed boy into a shadow of his former self that saw Dream as the one in charge, the person that should be listened to and trusted. In the years they had known each other, nothing had broken him.

He was left alone in exile for a couple of weeks with Dream and this is what had happened. He was a flinching, frightened boy that saw Dream as absolute authority. 

Tubbo was going to murder him. 

“No! Don’t, please don’t! He’ll kill you before you can, and he’ll hurt you, Tubbo. He’ll hurt you so much. Please don’t kill him, he’s my only friend-” Tubbo only wanted to kill him more with that last sentence. He remembered Phil’s words, and he took in a deep breath. He didn’t want to stress Tommy out more than he already was, and talking about murdering his abuser was clearly not helping. He looked to Tommy, and took in another deep breath. He needed to stop saying things out loud that should’ve stayed in his head.

“Nothing is going to happen to me, Tommy. I’ll always have you, and you’ll always have me. I’m your Tubbo, right?” Tommy slowly smiled through his tears when a fresh wave of panic washed over him. He frantically started looking around the room, shaking the blankets desperately hoping to see something pop up. “Tommy? Calm down mate, what’s wrong?” Tommy let out a sob as he looked at Tubbo with wide eyes.

“My compass! Where is it? I haven’t let that thing out of my sight since Wilbur gave it to me, and now I-I can’t find it. It’s the only thing I never let Dream take away from me. Where is it, where is it?” Tubbo shushed Tommy gently, and handed over his compass. “H-how did you-?” 

“Sapnap gave it to me when he brought me to you. I… I honestly thought you burnt it. Dream said that you did. That you threw it into the lava pools at the Nether.” Tommy muttered something under his breath. “What was that?” 

“Nothing, nothing, don’t worry about it.” They sat in silence as Tommy grasped his compass to his chest, looking inside it and marveling at the fact that the arrow was pointing forwards to Tubbo. He looked at the inside of the compass, and smiled at what he saw. It was a picture that was protected by the elements because of the compass, and Tommy was grateful for that. It showed him and Tubbo passed out on their bench as the sun slowly set in front of them. It was at the end of their very first war when that was taken, and they finally got a moment’s rest. 

He never knew who took the picture.

All he remembered was waking up the next morning in his bed with Tubbo besides him, and the photo lying at the foot of the bed with a small tuft of pink wool stuck on the corner.

He pretended to not know who took the picture. 

“I thought you burnt your compass, Tommy. When Sapnap gave it to me, I thought that he remade it to make me think you still had it. Up until I saw you, I still thought that this could be some cruel joke.” Tommy laughed to himself.

“Dream told me the same thing. You destroyed yours, and he said I destroyed mine. He should really be more creative with these things, really.” Tubbo stifled a laugh at Tommy’s tone. He held back a smile, but his smile and his laughs broke free. 

Tommy had made a joke- one that he would’ve made before he was sent to exile. 

There was still some of him left that Dream hadn’t tainted.

He was broken, but he was still there. 

Tubbo and Tommy would heal each other, together.

“Tommy, I never got rid of my compass.” He took it out of his pants pocket. It was in pristine condition, almost too shiny in certain areas, as if it had been cleaned too many times. The engraving on the top was dulled only slightly. Tubbo had run his thumb across it so many times that the letters started to fade, but he didn’t mind. He knew what it said, and he knew what it meant to him. “This has never left my side. I haven’t let anyone touch this, and it has been with me every day and every night since Will gave it to me. This isn’t a copy, this isn’t a fake. I never let Dream see this, so there was no chance of him taking this away from me. I wasn't going to let him, Big T.”

Tommy was staring at the compass in Tubbo’s hand like he couldn’t believe it was real. He slowly reached out his hand, and Tubbo wordlessly dropped the compass into his waiting palms with no hesitation. Tommy put his own compass into Tubbo’s hands, and they looked at their compasses together.

Tubbo’s compass barely had a scratch on it. Tommy flipped the lid open, and he sniffled with what he saw inside. The needle of the compass was pointed towards himself, and Tommy knew that this was the real compass. He wasn’t sure why Dream would lie, but he brushed off his thoughts as he looked at the picture that Tubbo had put in the compass. 

_ We did the same thing!  _ Tommy thought.

The picture was old, but there was no wear-and-tear to be seen. It was a picture of him and Tubbo on top of their van, laughing and screaming into the skies with Wilbur below them, yelling for them to come down. Tommy remembered that day. It was only a few days before the war officially started, so they wanted to get in as much fun as they could. Wilbur almost had a heart attack when he saw them up there.

_ “You two are going to hurt yourselves!” _

_ “How did you even get up there?” _

_ “Fundy, do  _ not  _ climb up there with the gremlin children in your new uniform, I swear to god.” _

_ “Tubbo, you can’t tap dance on the top of the roof, you’ll fall- what did I tell you. I’ll get the bandages, just stay there.” _

Tubbo wasn’t sure who took the picture. 

When he went to bed that night and saw the picture on his pillow along with a spare green thread stuck to the back of the picture, he paid it no mind.

Tubbo didn’t want to believe who took the picture. 

Tubbo was looking at Tommy’s compass, guilt in his heart. It was dirty and dented, and the only thing that could be seen was the engraving on the top. He smiled at the picture, and remembered fondly at Tommy calling Wilbur a staker for taking a picture of them while they were sleeping.

_ “If we hear about a child gone missing, I know who I’m blaming.” _

_ “Tubbo, hold my hand. Stalkers are dangerous.” _

Wilbur was not pleased when he was woken up in the middle of the night to find Tommy and Tubbo taking a picture of him.

Tubbo had that photo framed on his desk. It always made him smile to look at Will’s half-awake and delirious eyes as he flipped them off .

He missed Wilbur. They both did.

“Well, Big T, I would say that this has lasted long enough.” Tubbo was broken out of his memories as Tommy abruptly spoke. He tried to get out of bed, but he hissed at every movement.

“What’s lasted? Did I do something wrong?” Tubbo was confused at Tommy’s sudden enthusiasm. He pushed him back into bed as gently as he could. “What are you talking about, Tommy?” It was Tommy’s turn to look confused.

“This is my reward, right? This is my reward that I get before Dream comes and kills me, I think. I would get to see you at home one last time, even though you don’t like me, I think, and then he would kill me. Why wouldn’t he after the stunt that I pulled?” Tubbo was worried. 

“What do you mean, ‘the stunt that you pulled?’ Dream isn’t coming to kill you, Tommy. Why would he?” Tommy smiled at Tubbo with sad, dead eyes. 

“I was selfish, Tubbo. I tried to jump! I almost took my last life myself, and the only thing that stopped me was Techno. I came here after being told not to, and I met up with you- the person he told me wanted to see me the least. Why wouldn't he kill me?”

Tubbo stared at Tommy.

He had tried to jump.

He had tried to take his last life himself.

The only reason he didn’t was because he sent Techno to see him.

Dream was going to kill Tommy, and Tommy was going to let him.

“Sorry, Tubbo. He should be here any moment to pick me up.”

Tubbo sobbed.

There was a knock at the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY CHAPTER LENGTHS KEEP DROPPING AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF. look i did all i could with this chapter so i could only use so may words.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two opposing forces meet face-to-face, despite best efforts to prevent this from happening.  
> TW- mentions of suicide, past suicidal thoughts, Dream is a creep, emotional manipulation, mentions of past abuse TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again not as long as i wanted it to be but more chapters means more comments
> 
> also Dream talks about punishment and if any of you problematic assholes start being creepy in my comments your kneecaps will be mine within the hour

Phil, Techno, and Sapnap shot up at the sob from upstairs. They had heard small fragments of the conversation from the lost, but nothing more than simple words. The sob that they heard was loud and clear, and they only got louder with every passing second. 

There was another knock at the door, much louder than the ones that came before it. Phil stopped Sapnap, who was making his way towards the door from his previous spot on the couch. “Sapnap, stay here for a bit. Techno, as much as I know emotions aren’t your strong suit, go check on the boys. Tommy doesn’t say it, neither does Tubbo, especially after what happened at the festival, but they still look up to you, Tech. they need someone more stoic for this. I’m gonna stay down here in case anything happens. Go, Techno.” Techno, who was looking at Phil with wide eyes after his statement, went up the ladder that led to the sobbing teens. Phil nodded at Sapnap, who continued to make his way to the door. Before any more knocks could ring out, Sapnap opened the door, and let out a gasp.

“Dream!”

Techno had no idea why Phil sent _him_ up to deal with the crying children. He said that Tommy and Tubbo still looked up to him, but that just wasn’t true in his mind. He had blown up their country, and he had taken one of their lives. He could guess that his monotone voice might help calm down the situation, but that was all he thought he could do. As he flipped open the trapdoor, he thought that Phil had put a little bit too much faith in him.

Tubbo was sobbing into Tommy’s chest, grasping onto his shirt like it was the only thing keeping him grounded to the earth. Tommy was silently hugging him, no emotions present on his face. Techno rushed over to the bed, and he started awkwardly patting Tubbo on the back. 

“What’s the matter, Tubbo?” 

Tubbo only continued to cry harder. Techno sighed, and ran his hand through Tubbo’s hair. Tommy and Phil always seemed to calm down when he did it to them, so he hoped it would work the same for Tubbo. He flinched at the contact, but he slowly started to lean into Techno’s hand, still never letting go of Tommy. “Tubbo, I know that talking is hard right now, but I can only help you if you tell me what’s wrong. Toms, did something happen?”

A single tear slipped out of Tommy’s eyes as he held onto Tubbo harder than before. He rested his chin on his hair, and he didn’t let go of the back of Tubbo’s shirt. Tommy closed his eyes, and held onto Tubbo as if he were a teddy bear. 

“Tubbo? What happened?” Tubbo sniffled, and turned his head to meet Techno’s worried gaze. As the tears still fell from his puffy eyes, Tubbo explained what happened.

“Techno, h-he thinks that this is a treat, a _reward_ before he dies. He thought that you taking him here and healing him and being nice to him was a reward. He thinks that Dream is letting him be happy before he dies.” Techno remembered hearing Tommy say that this was a treat, but after seeing Tubbo, he didn't think he would still believe that. He should’ve known that this wasn’t going to end right away, and that he still needed to believe that he wasn’t in any danger before accepting that no one was going to hurt him. Techno nodded.

“Go on.” Tubbo let out shaky breaths, and looked into Techno’s soul with sad eyes.

“He called Dream over himself to say that he had enjoyed the treat, but it had been going on for too long. H-he called Dream to come and kill him, Technoblade.”

Techno stared at Tommy, who was still holding onto Tubbo like a lifeline. He looked at Techno, who was looking back at him with shock and hurt present all over his face.

“I-I’m sorry for making you cry again, Techno. Thank you for my treat, but this has been going on for too long. Don’t make me think that you actually care, this hurts too much already.” Tommy’s voice was slowly breaking as he spoke. Technoblade studied the room. They could jump off the loft and run, but Dream would easily stop them. There were no windows, and the ceiling seemed to stretch on forever. Breaking the walls would make noise and alert Dream that they were escaping, so that was another option out the window. Techno spoke to Tommy and Tubbo.

“Theseus, I know you don’t believe it, but I didn’t take you away from that place only to have you taken away after a night. Tubbo sent me there to look for you, and to make sure you were okay. I brought you here to heal, Toms, because you’re not okay right now, and that’s to be expected. I’m going to protect you and Tubbo from Dream. He only wants to hurt both of you, and I won’t let that happen” He knew that Tommy wouldn’t like it, but it had to be done. He donned his armour and held his sword in front of him, ready and waiting for any attack that might threaten Tommy and Tubbo.

He had just gotten Tommy away from his destroyed home, and he was obviously not in a good mental space. He was going to help both of them heal, and he wasn’t going to let Dream take Tommy away again.

“Dream!” Sapanp was staring at the man standing in the doorway. Whoever he had been expecting, it hadn’t been Dream. He was wearing a set of netherite armour with no scratches or dents on it, its enchantments vibrant and glistening in the early morning sunlight. It was a brand new set that hadn’t seen battle, and from what Sapnap could see, the sword strapped to his back was new as well.

He was prepared for a fight, and Sapnap would give it to him. 

“Sapnap. What are you doing here?” Dream knew what he was doing here. Tommy had told him the whole story. 

_Dream was wandering aimlessly around in the Nether, destroying the silence with TNT and the persistent sound of a pickaxe mining netherite. He had stacks upon stacks of netherite already, but mining was a mindless task that allowed him a moment of calm. His communicator was suddenly ringing, and he groaned, not walking to talk to anyone during his limited alone time. He looked at his communicator, and his face lit up in surprise at the caller ID._

_Tommy was calling him._

_He hadn’t heard from him in the days since his last visit, and he was expecting a call eventually. He put the communicator to his ear and answered the call._

_“Tommy?”_

_“Shhhhhhh!” That was surprising. Tommy hadn’t talked back to him in any way in weeks, and he was surprised to see the back talking pop up again. He cleared his throat, and put on a more stern voice. He could only scold Tommy for now, but he might take away his jukebox the next time he visited Logstenshire._

_“Tommy, you know you can’t talk to me like that. I-”_

_“Dream, can you pick me up now? Please? This was fun, but it’s starting to hurt.” Dream let out a confused chuckle._

_“Pick you up? You know you can’t leave Logstedshire. What do you mean? Did someone manage to remake the Nether portal?” It was Tommy’s turn to be confused._

_“You sent Techno to come and get me after I was being selfish-”_

_“What did you do?”_

_“I… I tried to take my last life, Dream. He stopped me and brought me to L’Manberg.”_

_Silence._

_“I know that you wanted to be the one to take my last life, so I’m calling you now to say that the treat was fun, but can you take me home please? I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Sapnap and Phil are being too nice, and they’re telling me that you took me away to hurt me. Take me home, please. This hurts right in my heart, Big Man.”_

_Dream was shocked. He knew that he had broken Tommy, but he didn’t know he had been pushed to the point of suicide._

_This had worked better than he had ever imagined it would._

_Tommy was telling him that he had been taken away, and he was mistaking real kindness and worry as a reward before he died._

_This was almost too good to be true._

_“Tommy, thank you for telling me of your selfishness, and remembering that I was going to be the one to take your last life. Punishment is going to happen, of course, but it might be lessened for your honesty. Where are you? Who’s with you?”_

_“Techno, Sapnap, and Phil are here. I’m at Phil’s house. I only shushed you because Phil is downstairs getting blankets, and I didn’t want him to hear you. You’re not quiet, Big D.” Tommy let out a small sigh of relief at Dream’s chuckle. He was terrified to overstep boundaries, and he wasn’t sure what he thought of as a joke would be taken as a joke anymore._

_“I’ll be over as soon as I can, Tommy. You made my job easier for ending your treat early, and being so honest with me. I might even give you another reward after your punishment. See you in a bit, Tommy.” Dream made his way out of the hole he had made in the ground. He didn’t think that picking up Tommy was going to be hard- he would probably just come out and meet him himself._

_The problem were the three hybrids that apparently wanted to protect him._

_The Blood God- Technoblade._

_The Angel of Death- Philza._

_Sapnap was an unknown challenge._

_Being around Phil and Techno might make him realize that he isn’t all human. Dream knew the first second he saw him that he wasn’t human, but Sapnap never seemed to know. He had set out from his home to build an empire bigger than anyone had ever seen, and to have a fearsome army with only the best warriors at his side. He wanted to have a kingdom filled with unity but feared by anyone not allied with him._

_He befriended the hybrid, and put a damper on his powers. If he ever caused a mutiny, not having his powers would be a major asset in defeating him. He didn’t want to hurt Sapnap; he had become genuine friends with him._

_He would do what he had to do in order to strengthen himself, and to sweep away anyone that goes against him._

“I… had to visit Phil. He let me borrow some of his wool. Why are you here all of a sudden?” Dream waltzed into Phil’s house, scanning the living room for any trace of Tommy. He pretended not to see Phil hastily hide Tommy's old clothes in a chest.

“I have wool, Sapnap. You could’ve asked me, but that’s okay. Phil, could I borrow something you have, actually?” Phil looked at him with mock skepticism. Phil knew why he was here, but he wanted to put off the inevitable conflict as long as he could.

“What do you want, Dream? I’m sure you have it already, but I’ll give it to you if I have it. What is it?”

“Tommy.”

“What? He’s not here, Dream, we both know that. You took him away to god knows where, and we haven’t seen him since.” Dream scoffed, and walked over to a tense Phil. 

“We both know that isn’t true. Tommy told me himself to come and pick him up. It would make all of our lives easier if you just handed him over. There doesn’t have to be bloodshed, but I can take away some lives if the need arises. Now, where is he?”

“Now, where is he?” Techno could hear the words loud and clear from his spot on the loft. Tommy and Tubbo were still on the bed, backed into the corner and out of view to people on the first floor. If he had more time before Tubbo told him Tommy called Dream, he would’ve whisked them away until the coast was clear. It was too late for hiding because Dream was in Phil’s house, asking for Tommy. Tubbo was still clinging to Tommy, his breathing silent. Tommy, at the sound of Dream’s voice, had perked up like a dog seeing a snack.

“I know he’s here, just let me take him home.” Techno heard Phil growl. He could practically see the scales growing onto Phil’s neck.

_“You_ are not taking him _home._ I have no idea what you did to that boy, but I’m not letting you take him away again and break him even more. You should’ve seen what he looked like when Sapnap brought him inside. I will _never_ let you take either of them again.”

“Either of them?”

“It’s no secret that you have Tommy _and_ Tubbo wrapped around your finger. I failed them before, but I’m never letting you hurt them again.” techno could hear Dream laugh below him.

“It’s only taken one of your sons dying and two of them becoming suicidal to fix your shitty parenting? Don’t even get me started about how you hurt Fundy.”

“Not like you’re any better. Who do you think made them suicidal? Who broke them? That was you, Dream. Don’t talk about my issues without acknowledging yours. You’re fucked up in the head, mate.”

“Did I abandon my own flesh and blood?”

“Shut it-”

“Did I push away my grandson, who looks up to anyone older than him as a parental figure?”

_“That is enough.”_

“I thought so. Just hand Tommy over and I’ll leave you to your favoritism.”

Phil was seething. Dream had barged into his house, uninvited, and demanded that he handed over his son. Instead of going to the ladder, Dream walked into the middle of the room, and cupped his hands over his mask where his mouth was.

“Tommy?” 

There was a rustle from upstairs.

“Dream?”

Tommy yelled back to Dream, giving away his poor hiding position. He could feel Dream’s smile through his words.

“There you are! Come on down, Toms, I’ll be right here waiting for you.” Dream had a sickeningly sweet tone in his voice. It was like he was speaking to a small child that had done something worthy of praise. It made Phil sick to his stomach.

There was more rusting from upstairs, and faint sounds of struggle. “Let me go, I need to see him! He’s my friend!” Tommy sounded like he was crying and it broke Phil’s heart. Dream turned to Phil.

“See? He wants to be with me more than he wants to be with you. If Techno or Tubbo is stopping him, I’ll get him myself.” He raised his voice. “I’ll be up in a second, Tommy!” Dream ran over to the ladder. Before he could place one finger on a rung of the ladder, there was a sword pointed at his throat. Dream exhaled through his nose, and glared at Sapnap through his mask.

“We’ve hurt those kids too much, Dream. I can’t let them get hurt any more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments!! they make me so happy!! long ones, short ones (don't make a dick joke), ones that hate Dream, ones that hate Phil, i love them all!! clog up my inbox!! go nuts!! tell me what i can improve on!! CRASH MY COMPUTER WITH THE AMOUNT OF COMMENTS YOU LEAVE MY GOD- THERE ARE SIX THOUSAND OF YOU YOU CAN DO IT :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream and Sapnap fight.  
> TW- minor depictions of violence, mentions of past abuse, past suicidal thoughts, Dream is a little shit, mentions of dry heaving, major character death  
> TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD MORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the battle sucks lol

The living room was silent. Phil stood by the couch, gawking at Sapnap, who was pointing his gleaming sword at Dream’s throat. He had seen Dream, Sapnap, and George attached at the hip nearly every time he saw them, and now Sapnap was pointing his sword at his best friend’s throat. Even from ten feet away, Phil could see that this was hard for Sapnap. His sword hand was steady, but Phil could see the hand by his side was shaking. His eyes were a stoic black, and his voice was steady as he spoke.

“Dream, I can’t let you hurt Tommy and Tubbo again. I can’t.” Dream shrugged, and hoisted himself onto one of the ladder rungs. Sapnap’s eyes went wide, and he slowly pushed the tip of his sword forwards, further into Dream’s neck. A small bead of blood slowly trickled down onto Dream’s green sweatshirt that was hiding underneath his armour. “I mean it, Dream.” Sapnap’s voice and his sword were no longer steady. As Dream climbed back down and stepped onto the floor, Sapnap took in a shuddering breath and hoisted his sword higher, steadying himself. Dream slowly walked towards Sapnap, ignoring the threat of the sword. Phil watched from afar, sword drawn in case he had to intervene. He knew that this was going to be a personal matter, so he wouldn’t stop Dream and Sapnap from fighting. He wanted to protect Tubbo, Techno, and Tommy from Dream, who could easily dart upstairs and take Tommy away.

“Come on now, Sapnap. You’re really going to choose two selfish brats over your best friend? You’ve known me for years, Sapnap, but the second some sad kid makes puppy dog eyes at you, you turn your back on me? What about George? He’s your best friend too, Sapnap.” Sapnap shook his head and stared at Dream.

“This isn’t about George, so don’t bring him into this. This is between you and me, Dream. We put those kids through so much shit, and I don’t even want to  _ know  _ what you did to Tommy in exile.” Dream stiffened at those words. He lowered his voice.

“What did Tommy tell you about exile?” Phil could sense the silent rage from feet away, and he knew that Sapnap had said the wrong thing. He silently made his way towards the ladder.

Sapnap stared at Dream. “He didn’t tell us anything, but do you know what he said when he saw me? When he saw Phil? He said that we could use him as a punching bag if we wanted to, and that we could take away his last life as punishment for getting  _ help.  _ He’s skin and bones, and he had bruises all over. He didn’t say anything, but I have a damn good idea on what you did to that kid. You told me he would be  _ fine,  _ that he would be  _ okay. That  _ is not okay.” Dream shrugged at Sapnap again.

“I never told you he was going to be okay, I just said he was going to be alive. There’s a difference, Sapnap.”

Silence enveloped the living room again. Sapnap took in shuddering breaths, and stared at Dream with wide eyes, fury coating every feature. With every breath he took, an echo rang out with every exhale. Sapnap opened his mouth to speak, but only smoke fell out of his mouth. The groan that he emitted was inhuman, and he drew his sword back, ready to plunge it through Dream’s armour. The second he moved his hands, he recoiled and fell to the floor. His breaths no longer echoed, and smoke no longer came out of his mouth. He was gasping for breath, and Phil wanted nothing more than to run over and help him. It was too big of a risk to Tommy and Tubbo, so he sighed silently, and continued his quiet steps to the ladder. His previous decision became harder to follow when he heard Sapnap cough, hearing the painful sound exit the boy on the floor. 

His voice was hoarse when he spoke. “Help, please. Help-” He was cut off by his own, retching coughs. Dream threw a water bottle down at him, and Sapnap took it greedily. He thought that the water he drank would soothe his aching throat, but as the liquid hit his throat, he let out another pained cry in agony. The water burned down his throat, and what spilled out of his mouth and went onto his chin left burn marks in their wake. He threw the waterway from himself, and the half-empty bottle landed with a thud at Dream’s feet. 

Dream picked up the bottle and walked over to Sapnap, crouching down to meet his friend. He rubbed his back while Sapnap coughed, his breath steadily coming back into his lungs. He blearily looked at Dream. “W-what the hell was that?” Dream only continued to rub his back while Phil watched on, the ladder now being an arm away. He gave away his silent endeavors when he let out a loud gasp. Dream had tipped the bottle over and poured the water directly over Sapnap’s head. Sapnap let out an agonizing scream, and he started to writhe on the floor in pain. Dream’s head shot up to Phil, who was looking at him in horror. 

“You cruel, disgusting bastard, Dream. You call Sapnap your friend and then you torture him? You say he turned your back on you when you went and left him like  _ this?  _ You don’t deserve to call him a friend after what you did to him, what you’ve been doing for years.” Dream chuckled at Phil, slowly making his way towards him while kicking Sapnap in the process. 

_ They figured it out. _

Dream held himself high on the outside, but on the inside, he was groaning. Dealing with this was going to be much harder than he thought. It was a good thing he came prepared for this, though. “Come on, Phil. That was water. He’s just being a baby to get your pity, stab you in the back, and then crawl back to me later. He’s a good actor, right, Sapnap?” All he got was a pained sob in response. “See? Sapnap has been by my side for years, he’s been my perfect soldier.” There was a shaky sigh from behind them.

“Soldier? Is that all I am to you? All I was to you? Was that your plan from the start? Is George your soldier too?” Sapnap was staggering to his feet, looking to Dream with sad eyes. He didn’t want to believe it was true when the thought entered his mind less than an hour ago. 

They had shared laughs together.

They had cried together.

They had comforted each other in the dead of night, when their nightmares seemed too real.

They had fought against one another.

_ They had fought for Dream. _

Dream was his best friend.

He stared at the rings on his fingers. He had never taken them off since Dream gave them to him. There was a smiling face on the band, and the word “friend” messily carved onto the rim. He had loved Dream. He loved Dream like a brother, and he had risked his life to save Dream’s several times before. The truth of the situation fell onto Sapnap’s mind like a ton of bricks. 

The only reason Dream had even spoken to Sapnap in the first place was because he wanted a soldier by his side, one that would listen to his every order without hesitation. 

Sapnap and George had been under his thumb the whole time.

He gave Sapnap rings to stop his powers from manifesting, to stop him from rising against him.

He had planned this from the start.

Sapnap slowly started to put on his netherite armour. He hadn’t put it back on since he took it off for Tommy, but he liked wearing it. Putting the armour back on made him feel safe. He remembered all of the times he had worn this armour and fought side by side with Dream. He scolded himself for not seeing it sooner. He could feel Dream’s amused eyes watch him as he donned his armour. Sapnap stared at his rings, and then looked back up at Dream.

“I don’t think I need your protection anymore.” 

Sapnap slowly took off his rings with shaking fingers. He was saying goodbye to his best friend. He put the rings into the palm of his hand, and he stepped outside, walking to an anvil people used for name tags. He gently placed the rings onto the worn surface of the anvil, and he held the mallet that was next to the anvil above his head. With an animalistic cry, he brought the mallet down, and he smashed the rings he loved so dearly. With every swing he took, the rings slowly flattened. There were tears streaming down Sapnap’s face as he poured all of his emotions into the mallet. With one final swing, he brought the mallet down onto the flattened metal, and shattered the pieces- minuscule scraps of metal flying in every direction. Sapnap’s tears fell onto the anvil, and he realized with a start that he had completely split the anvil in half. The head of the mallet was melting before his eyes, the metal drooping down to the wooden floor beneath it.

He had done that. He had caused the anvil to break and the mallet to melt. He dropped the singed handle of the mallet and looked at his hands, smiling wide in the process.

_ He  _ had done that. 

He could break anvils with his own two hands. He could melt metal. He could burn wood with a single touch.  _ He _ did that. 

“Congratulations, Sapnap.” Sapnap whipped around to see Dream behind him, strutting towards him with a confident demeanor. “You did it. You abandoned your best friend. You betrayed me, the person who was only trying to help you from the start. You made an enemy out of me, Sap, and I don’t think you thought that through.” Dream drew his sword, and prepared his stance for battle. Sapnap smiled at Dream, and drew his sword at Dream. 

“I don’t think  _ you _ should make an enemy out of  _ me.”  _

Sapnap combusted into flames.

Sapnap levitated off of the ground, laughing to himself as he spun around, spreading his fingers and feeling the wind between them. He felt his legs grow, and looked down to see that they had become thin and lanky like the rods of a blaze. Fire trailed behind him, and sparks flew at every patch where his skin became charred and gold. Sapnap could feel the fire running through his veins, fueling him with an adrenaline spike so intense he thought he might fall onto the ground. Sapnap tipped his head back to the sky, and let out a real, loud laugh. There were tears streaming down his face, but he could deal with the painful burns later. He cried, a happy, relieved cry, and the sound that came out was the one that had been brewing in his body for nineteen years.

_ Finally _

_ Finally _

_ Finally _

_ Free _

Sapnap was brought back to reality when an arrow was shot at his head. Dream was still in front of him, crossbow in hand, and another arrow notched and ready to fire. Sapnap brought his shield out, ready to block. Dream ran for him, sword in hand, and mercilessly tore up the shield. Sapnap knew that it wouldn’t last long with Dream attacking him so relentlessly, and he knew he had to go on the offensive. He let out a small cry, and brought a hand to his throat when he felt a burning sensation. He exhaled, and a wave of fire was launched towards Dream, who barely got his shield up in time to dodge it. 

He had just launched a fireball at Dream.

He had no idea how to do it again. He held onto his throat in wonder, wondering how he was going to do that again. It had been a spur of the moment action, one that he hadn’t thought through.

_ Breathe. Feel the flames in your veins. Exhale the fire. _

Sapnap felt like he knew what to do. He took in a deep breath and concentrated, leaving himself completely open or Dream’s attack. A sword was swung at his chest, and Sapnap could feel himself bleed. He snarled, smoke coming out of his mouth, and he jabbed at Dream. Dream evaded his thrust, rolling behind him and aiming for his back. Sapnap was back off the ground in a second, blocking Dream’s blade with his own. He flew behind Dream and swung at his neck, feinting, and then went for his feet. Dream jumped before the blade could hit his shin. They were backing away from each other, swords drawn.

Dream and Sapnap had trained and fought together for years. Sapnap knew all of Dream’s strategies inside and out, and he was sure Dream had the same knowledge about him. Sapnap drew his bow and notched an arrow, aiming directly at Dream’s neck. He had no tie to duck when he saw another arrow coming straight for him, lodging in his shoulder. He hissed in pain.  _ What kind of poison was on that arrow? _ Sapnap heard Dream tsk at him, shaking his head and pulling something out from behind him.

“Sapnap, you think that  _ you’re  _ a match for  _ me?  _ I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your movements. Transforming like that took a lot out of you, didn’t it?” Sapnap didn’t have time to retort before he was on the ground, his vision blurry and his balance gone. He had felt completely energized when he was fighting Dream, so he had no idea why this sudden weakness spurt was overtaking him. He would’ve known if it was a weakness arrow. “I’ve done a lot of research since I met you, Sapnap. I had to prepare in case something like this ever happened. Did you know what I found out?” Dream was walking closer to Sapnap, kicking the golden apple he had out of his hands. “I heard that after a hybrid’s first transformation, all of their energy gets completely used up by their magic. You were fighting me, too, so that can’t have helped.” Sapnap was glaring up at Dream from his place on the ground.

_ Exhale the fire.  _

Sapnap let out a roar, flames consuming the entire common area. He felt all of the anger, all of his passion, all of his sadness pour into his flames. Fire was in his blood, his heart, his mind, his soul, and it was being released after nineteen years of containment. The wood below his feet was singing, burning and falling apart before him. He screamed, and he could see that his flames reached higher than before. His fire was touching the sky and scorching the ground, destroying everything in its wake. 

_ Freedom. _

Sapnap slumped forwards and hit his head on the ground. His flames slowly simmered out, leaving nothing but charred rubble and the smell of smoke. 

That had completely exhausted him. 

He was about to nod off when he saw boots in his vision. Dream was in front of him, shaking his head softly.

“That was a fun show. Wanna do it again and exhaust yourself even more?” Sapnap sputtered.

“H-how are y-you-?” He heard Dream laugh, a cruel, maniacal laugh, and he merely dusted the soot off of his shoulders. 

“I knew this might happen eventually, so I planned accordingly. Tell me, Sapnap, have you ever heard of fire protection four?” Sapnap gaped up at Dream. There wasn’t a single scratch on him, his armour still in perfect condition. The only thing that was wrong about it was the soot ruining the pristine shine, still slowly drifting from the destroyed buildings and onto his armour. Sapnap let out a sob. 

Dream had known, and he had planned ahead. 

He was in agonizing pain. A bucket of water was thrown upon him, and all he could do was scream. The water was dousing his flames and burning his golden skin. The water was tearing his legs apart, and breaking the bones inside of them. Sapnap dry heaved onto the ground wanting nothing more than to be in a nice, hot pool of lava. His screams rang out again as another bucket of water was thrown upon him.He was in agony, he was a writhing mess on the floor. He could faintly hear Dream mutter something he couldn’t understand.

“∷ᔑ╎リ.” 

The skies went dark, and there were bullets of water hitting the ground. Sapnap let out another agonized scream, and he could vaguely feel that he was being kicked. Dream was above him, kicking his ribs and his face. He was sobbing, begging Dream to make the rain stop, to bring him inside, to stop hurting him. A sword was drawn, and Sapnap could only register that he was kicked over so his face was taking the rain head on. He could hear Dream laugh above him, and he could swear the rain went silent when Dream spoke.

“It was never meant to be.”

A sword was lodged into his chest, and Sapnap vanished in a puff of smoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave comments i'm begging you


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What went on inside the house while Sapnap and Dream fought.  
> TW- panic attack, derealization, depersonalization, arguing TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! WARNING WARNING !!  
> There is a more intense scene of a panic attack in this chapter, and I know this might trigger some readers. It starts at the first section of "---------" and it ends the second time they appear. Be warned!!

Phil watched as Sapnap and Dream left his home. 

_ Sapnap could handle himself- he did when  _ he  _ transformed for the first time. _

Without another thought, he shut his front door and scrambled up the ladder. The point of Techno’s sword was immediately upon him, but seeing that it was Phil, he put away his sword and motioned to the bed. Tommy was a shaking mess under the covers, only a tuft of hair to be seen. He was breathing heavily, and Tubbo was trying his best to console him. He was speaking softly to Tommy, and he slowly put his hand on his back. Tommy flinched away and ran off the bed, flinging himself into Techno’s arms. Tommy grasped at him, holding onto him for dear life. Techno slowly warped his arms around Tommy, holding onto his loosely in case he wanted to move.

“Dream, I’m so sorry, I’m so happy you’re here, take me home  _ take me home- _ ” Tommy was sobbing into Techno’s chest. “I’ll be good, I’ll be good, I’ll drink that potion that you give me even though I hate it! I will! I swear-!” Tommy’s words stopped flowing from his mouth as he looked into Dream’s eyes.

There was no white mask looking down at him. The only thing he could see was Techno’s blood red eyes gazing down on him with sadness. Tommy’s breathing hitched in panic.

“Tommy? I need you to calm down, okay? I need you to breathe.” Techno was speaking to Tommy in a soft voice, though it wasn’t getting through to Tommy. He was shaking like a leaf in Techno’s arms, pushing himself away from the man he thought was Dream.

\-----

“I-I heard the fighting downstairs. Sapnap got hurt because of me he was screaming because of me he lost Dream because of me- If I hadn’t been so  _ selfish  _ he would be okay and I would be okay with Dream in Logstedshire and none of you would be sad- I hurt Sapnap, he was  _ screaming-”  _ Tommy was at the point of hyperventilation by the time he was done talking. His hands were in his hair, grasping the golden strands so tightly that he pulled some of them out. His knees were shaking, and he fell to the ground with a loud thud. Tommy could vaguely see three pairs of legs rush in front of him, but he was too deep inside of his own mind to acknowledge them. 

His vision was swimming, and he couldn’t feel the wood beneath him.

_ I did this _

_ I did this _

_ My fault _

_ He’s hurt _

_ Don’t hurt _

_ Dream _

Tommy was going to die. He was going to die here, in Phil’s house, surrounded by people who he couldn’t let himself trust. His heart was beating out of his chest, and he could feel his rapid heartbeat in his ears. He was sweating, stomach swirling, chest falling, he couldn’t breathe, he was going to  _ die-  _

He wasn’t on the ground anymore. He was standing up in Phil’s room, watching the world unfold before him. Tommy was on the ground, slumped over and breathing hard. Everything was slow as he watched himself. It was like he was watching himself through honey, and that the world was encased in it as well. Phil, Techno, and Tubbo were moving slowly towards him, panic present on their faces. 

_ Get up. _

Tommy was commanding himself, yet his body wouldn’t move.

_ I need to stand up. _

He stayed still. The world faded around him, and he could feel himself panicking. 

_ I can’t move _

_ Why _

_ What  _

_ Who are these people? _

The world came to a halt, and Tommy let in a shuddering breath. He ripped his eyes open, and saw nothing but darkness.

He could slowly feel his eyelids fall, and he could feel his breathing slow.

He was going to die.

\-----

Tubbo was looking at Tommy as he let out panicked sobs. He was shaking, there were tears in his eyes, Tommy wasn’t moving,  _ he had died- _

“Tubbo, look at me.” There were hands on his shoulders and Tubbo looked up into Phil’s eyes. “I need you to follow my breathing, alright? I need you to do that for me.” Tubbo watched Phil take in large breaths, and push them out of his lungs with a sigh. Tubbo let out another sob and rubbed his eyes, but followed along with Phil. His breathing hitched as he inhaled, and he cried as he exhaled, but his breathing started to slow to a normal rate. Phil was with him while he was calming down, hands rubbing his shoulders or putting a hand over his heart, grounding him to reality. Tubbo sniffled, and mumbled a thank you to Phil before he saw Technoblade carry a limp Tommy to the bed. The tears welled up in his eyes again, and he reached out a hand towards Tommy.

“Phil, did he- did- did he-?” Tubbo was positive his best friend was dying before his eyes. Tubbo thought that he was having a heart attack when he collapsed, and terrible thoughts entered his mind before he could stop them.

_ He never got to forgive me. _

_ He never got to believe me. _

_ I never got to say goodbye. _

Phil was squeezing his shoulders again, drawing Tubbo out from his panicked emotions. “Listen to me, Tubbo. Tommy is fine, he’s not going to die, he  _ didn't  _ die, and he won’t be dying anytime soon.” Tubbo glanced back over to the bed, where Techno was combing his hands through Tommy’s hair. He saw Tommy’s chest move, and he let out a sob of relief. He ran out of Phil’s grasp and over to the bed, flinging himself next to Tommy and taking his hand in his own. He couldn’t stop watching the slow rise and fall of Tommy’s chest, the thoughts of his best friend having a heart attack and dying in front of him still fresh in his mind. He looked to Phil, who was looking at him with a sad smile.

“I-I thought he had a heart attack. I thought that he was going to die. W-what was that?” Phil sighed, and walked over to Tubbo, rubbing his back before explaining what had happened.

“That was a panic attack, Tubbo. A bad one, as well. Everything he had been feeling came crashing down, and his mind and body went into overdrive.” Techno cleared his throat.

“I’ve had a few panic attacks myself, and I’ve only had one that severe once. It feels like you  _ are  _ having a heart attack, and everything kind of collapses around you. It must’ve been too much to hear Dream and Sapnap fighting, and that finally let the dam break. He’ll be okay, but he’ll need some time to recover from something so intense.” Tubbo nodded numbly. His best friend had a panic attack, and there was nothing he could do to help. All he could do was be there when he woke up, and help him recover. 

There was a flash of light from outside.

Flames danced up into the sky, and smoke spilled into the blue sky. Phil got up from the edge of the bed and looked out his window, smiling to himself.

“I knew he could do it.” Phil shut his windows and went to Tubbo again, smiling knowingly at Techno.

“So he did it, huh? That’s not gonna be fun to deal with when it wears off.” Phil chuckled to himself, remembering the first time Techno had come down from a transformation. Tubbo turned to him, hand never leaving Tommy’s, a confused look in his eyes.

“What’s so funny?” Phil grinned at Technoblade with mischief in his eyes. Techno stared back with confusion, not knowing what Phil was planning. “Is this an inside joke or something?” Phil shook his head, and directed his smile at Tubbo.

“Have I ever told you what Techno was like when his first hybrid transformation wore off? His first full transformation into the Blood God?” Tubbo shook his head, and Techno gaped at Phil.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I will.”

_ Phil was staring down at the small toddler at his feet. There were branched in his hair and cloth stuck to his teeth, and his neck was adorned with gold that Phil had no idea how he got. The snout that had been present on Techno’s face started to shrink, and his teeth sank back into his mouth. His pink skin returned back to its normal shade, and the gleam in his eyes burned out. He let out a small squee, and then he was on the ground, his legs too weak to hold him up anymore. _

_ Phil cradled the small hybrid in his arms, quietly bringing him back to their cabin in the woods. He had woken up to a messy house, and the front door was wide open. The golden hooks on his coat hanger were suspiciously gone, as were his boot laces that had golden aglets.  _

_ He knew what happened, and he set out to find his piglin toddler. _

_ He found him in the village at the base of their mountain home with gold draped over him. _

_ He never gave the gold back to the village, and Phil wouldn’t be surprised if he still had it.  _

_ The days that followed were filled with sniffles, medicine, and blankets. Techno was attached to Phil’s hip the entire time he was sick, wordlessly following him around like a lost puppy. Even after the sickness had subsided, Techno never strayed far from Phil’s side. _

Tubbo was holding back his laughter as Phil finished telling the story. Techno was silently seething at Tommy’s other side, but he was happy that he could take Tubbo’s mind off of Tommy for a while, even if it was at his expense. 

“So-  _ haHA-  _ you’re a clingy bitch as well, Techno?  _ PFFTThahA-!”  _ Techno sputtered while Phil only nodded.

“Tubbo, he’s  _ always  _ been a clingy bitch. He fuckin’ holds my hand sometimes. His love language is touch but he never lets himself get a hug or anything because he has an ‘image to uphold-’ what the fuck was that-?” A wave of white light had showered Phil’s house. Phil could feel the temperature in the room rising, and he could smell the fire that the light produced. Tubbo was sat openmouthed looking out the window, staring at the slowly dwindling light.

“What happened?” 

Phil had another smile on his face, and opened his mouth to speak.

He was cut off by a muffled scream of agony.

Tubbo shot up from the bed and ran to the window. The white glass was covered in ash, and there was nothing he could do to see the outside. He tried to pry open the window, but he cursed himself after he remembered he replaced Phil’s windows with solid glass panes so he couldn’t leave house arrest. 

“That was Sapnap! We need to help him!” Another scream cut through the air. “Dream is going to kill him!” Tubbo was halfway down the ladder by the time Phil stopped him and called him back up to the loft.

“Tubbo, hybrids- yes, Sapnap is a hybrid- get a massive burst of energy when they first transform. That was probably  _ Dream _ screaming, not Sapnap. The only thing you’ll do by going outside is get burnt.” Tubbo was unconvinced. 

“I know that was Sapnap, Phil. I know it.” Thunder boomed in the distance. “I can go see him, Techno, you come with me, and Phil, stay with Tommy.” Phil grasped Tubbo by the arm.

“Sapnap is going to be fine. The first time I transformed, I-” Tubbo ripped Phil’s hand off of him and glared at him.

“Sapnap isn’t you!” 

Another scream.

Sapnap's lifeless form appeared on the bed next to Tommy. 

Tubbo slapped Phil across the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read this and weep assholes
> 
> please leave comments i love them 
> 
> please


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo lashes out at Phil who realizes that he isn't as great as he thought he was. Techno runs to the Nether, and Fundy realizes that some people just don't care for you, no matter how much you want them to.  
> TW- minor depictions of violence, Phil is a TERRIBLE father, hydrophobia, mentions of future violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -THIS IS A SHIT FILLER TYPE CHAPTER-  
> exciting shit can't happen every chapter good christ 
> 
> i also just fucking realized that every chapter has a trigger warning LOL

The room erupted into chaos. Tubbo lunged at Phil, throwing punch after punch and kick after kick at Phil who was surprised by his sudden outburst. Tubbo was yelling at him, he realized. “I told you, Phil! Sapnap just had to fight his best friend and use his hybrid powers for the first time, and you thought he would be  _ fine?  _ You thought that he wouldn’t need help? Not all of us are as perfect as you, Phil! Hey-!” Tubbo was lifted off the ground from behind. Technoblade was holding the squirming and trashing teenager by the waist, not allowing any of his movements to sway him. “Techno put me down! Phil did  _ nothing  _ to help Sapnap when I  _ told you  _ he needed help! You didn’t listen to me, you bastard!” Phil was staring at Tubbo with wide eyes. He would never have thought in a million years that he was getting cussed out by  _ Tubbo,  _ yet here he was. He could feel his patience with the teen diminishing. 

“If you knew he needed help then why didn’t you go out and do it yourself, Mr. President?” Tubbo laughed out loud at that. 

“Phil! You  _ haHAHA-  _ you can’t be serious right now! You can't, you can’t, I’m sorry _ heHEHEHAHA!”  _ Tubbo was no longer wriggling in Techno’s grasp, laughing at Phil with tears in his eyes. “Do you know how badly I wanted to help him? Do you know how hard it was not to rush out there when I heard what was happening? Look at me, Phil!” Tubbo held his arms out and gestured to himself. “I am in  _ no  _ place to help Sapnap. I don’t have armour, I’m tired, and I am not in a great mental state unless someone forgot. The only thing jumping into battle would’ve done for me was kill me!  _ You  _ could’ve done something!  _ You  _ could’ve helped him!  _ But you didn’t!”  _ Tubbo was red in the face, still in Techno’s arms as tears ran down his face. 

Phil knew that Tubbo was right. He didn’t want to admit it, but he knew that he had the power to stop Sapnap from dying. There was no way he was going to admit that, however, so he was going to fight fire with fire. His exhaustion caught up with him, and his anger washed out his reason. He forgot what he was fighting for.

“Sapnap isn’t my son! I thought that he was strong enough to handle himself, but he wasn’t! And  _ I  _ thought a certain blaze told me that you didn’t care if you lost your last life!” Phil’s eyes widened as soon as his last sentence left his mouth. He slapped a hand over his mouth, and he looked at Tubbo and Techno who held shock in their eyes. “Tubbo, I didn’t mean that-” It was too late.

Tears were streaming down Tubbo’s face, and he was gaping at Phil. He took in a shaky breath before speaking. “Do you not care if I die? If Sapnap dies? What happened to protecting kids, Phil? The second it becomes inconvenient for you you stop caring?” Tubbo was sobbing as he spoke. He turned around in Techno’s arms and wrapped his arms around his waist, shoving his face into Techno’s armour, not caring about the scratches that showed up. “I thought you cared, Phil…” Tubbo continues to cry into Techno’s chest, Techno slowly rocking him back and forth. Phil only continued to stare on, not noticing the small movements from Tommy on the bed. Techno was slowly sushing Tubbo, rubbing his back and patting his head. He cleared his throat, and when he spoke his voice was soft. 

“Tubbo, it wasn’t right that Phil didn’t listen to you, that  _ I  _ didn’t listen to you. I was too worried about you and Tommy to think about Sapnap when I should’ve been. You were right to listen to Phil when he said you would get burnt, so I’m proud of you that you listened to his reasoning there.” Tubbo didn’t want to tell Techno that he was still thinking about going out the door at that moment. He realized that he would be dead seconds before it was too late; before Sapnap had respawned on the bed next to Tommy. “Tubbo, you should get some rest. You’re exhausted. Just lay down next to Tommy and doze off for a while, we both know you need it.” Tubbo wanted to argue, but he could feel his eyes drooping with every soft word Techno spoke, and the spot next to Tommy looked extremely inviting.

Tubbo let go of Techno and flopped down onto the bed, and he was out like a light as soon as his head hit the pillow. Techno snorted at the sight. “Your massive bed finally comes in handy.” Phil smiled at Techno.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that my wings pop out when I sleep! Tucking them in all day hurts after a while.” Phil and techno shared a chuckle before the air became thick with tension. Technoblade was staring Phil down, something akin to disappointment in his eyes. 

Phil’s door burst open.

Dream was exhausted. The pouring rain was beating down on him, and his legs shook with the effort to hold him up. Summoning a rainstorm was extremely draining, not to mention that Sapnap gave the fight his all. Dream was surprised that he would ever have to break out his special armour; he thought that Sapnap would always be his perfect soldier. 

He didn’t think that killing Sapnap would hurt as much as it did. 

He knew that he and Sapnap were genuine friends, but he always thought that he had distanced himself enough for the thought of killing him not to sting. He knew it might happen eventually, but not for the sake of TommyInnit. Dream held onto a stall, grasping himself up by his arms. He was panting and breathing hard, slowly making his way to Phil’s door in the process. On his long journey there, he could swear he heard muffled shouting over the rain, but he was sure he imagined it. The rain was coming down so hard it was a miracle he could hear his thoughts. He tripped over his own feet, falling to the ground every other step when he finally reached Phil’s door. He shoved himself into the house before dropping to the ground. 

There were boots in front of him. Dream hauled himself to his feet, leaning on Phil’s wall to be met with the blade of an axe at his throat. The Blood God was in front of him, growling at Dream with all his sharp teeth showing. 

“Get out.”

Techno swung.

He hit home.

The blade of his axe sliced through Dream’s neck. Techno was expecting a cloud of smoke, but what he got was a shimmering wave of gold and green light surrounding Dream. Before Techno could strike again, Dream was gone, and the particles went with him. Techno hurled his axe at Phil’s wall, snarling at the empty spot in front of him. Dream had used a Totem of Undying, one of the most valuable items in the world, and disappeared. Techno let out another growl at the message that popped up in his communicator. 

_ “I’ll be back for my Tommy. :)” _

The second Techno saw Dream again, he was not going to hesitate to slice his head off. Techno clenched his fists. He was  _ furious,  _ and he knew that Phil petting his hair wasn’t going to calm him down. He went up the ladder, looking at Phil briefly and saying, “I’ll be back.” He went down the ladder and out of the house without a second glance. He didn’t notice the rain around him or the scorched wood at his feet as he made his way to the Nether portal. 

Phil watched Techno leave through his window. As soon as he heard his door open, the Blood God was here, and he knew that Techno needed to blow off some steam for him to return to normal. He sighed and put his head in his hands. 

He was partially the reason why Techno transformed. 

That had never happened before. 

Techno had gotten angry at him before, but he hadn’t been tense enough to transform. Dream opening the door only sped up his transformation. Phil would’ve gladly helped Techno calm down, but sparring out of view of the kids was too dangerous, and Techno’s anger might hurt them both. He buried his head farther into his hands, but his head shot up at the sound of a small groan. 

Phil was on his feet in a second, crouching down next to Sapnap who was finally starting to wake up. He was slowly moving around, coughing and squirming while partially opening his eyes. Sapnap’s gray eyes landed on Phil and tears slowly started to fall. “He killed me. He-he did. He was smiling when he stabbed me, Phil.” The tears only came down harder. “I was so  _ angry.  _ He- ah!” Sapnap fully opened his lights, and he practically hissed at the lanterns in the room. He threw a hand over his eyes and whimpered, curling further into the bed. Phil was back up, slowly extinguishing some of the lights in the room. As he went back to Sapnap, he saw that his hand had fallen limply to his side, and he was flushed. 

Putting a hand on his forehead, Phil snatched his hand back at the temperature. He had gotten a cold when he first transformed, but he had never gotten this high of a fever.

_ Sapnap isn’t you! _

Sapnap was a blaze hybrid, so his body was at a higher temperature than normal humans. Techno had the same issue, which was why Phil was surprised when he moved into the arctic. He cleared his throat. “Do you want some water, mate?” At the mere mention of water, Sapnap’s tired eyes shot open, and his entire body tensed. He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked outside the window. 

“No water, no water, no, not water. Not-” Sapnap cut himself off with loud, painful coughs. He slumped back onto the bed, his arms giving out below him. His eyes were still wide when he turned to Phil. “No water. Water hurts. Dream hurt, no water-” More coughs wracked through his body, and they eventually turned silent. Sapnap was holding his hand over his mouth, but no noise was coming out. There were tears in his eyes and his face was red, his other hand grasping at his throat. With a shuddering breath, Sapnap inhaled and took deep breaths as if he had been drowning. He laid himself fully onto the bed and shut his eyes. Phil grasped him by the shoulder and pushed him up against the headboard. 

“Sapnap, my god mate, are you okay?” Sapnap gave a tired thumbs up. “While you're up, I need you to drink something. It won’t be  _ that,  _ and it won’t hurt you. Me and Techno picked up some special drinks at one of the villages we went to, and it has the same property like  _ that. _ Let me get it real quick, just stay awake. Can you do that for me?” Phil got a nod, and he went down the ladder to his living room. 

Phil rummaged through his chests, purposefully making more noise than he needed to. He grabbed a simple bottle of water and went rummaging around again until he found a chest full of dyes. He took out some yellow dye and smashed it in his fists, turning the already fine material into a powder and pouring it into the water bottle. He tipped the water bottle back and forth, mixing the dye fully into the water. He made his way back upstairs to see that Sapnap was barely keeping his eyes open. As Phil came into vision, Sapnap’s eyes went to the yellow liquid in his hands, and Phil could almost see the worry draining from his shoulders from the fact that it wasn’t water. “Here, mate, have some of this. Drink as much as you can, and then you can go to sleep.” Sapnap nodded and took the bottle into his shaky hands. 

When Sapnap put the bottle to his lips, Phil tensed, but Sapnap started to drink all of the water in one go. Phil had to slow him down so he wouldn’t end up choking. As the bottle drained, Sapnap only seemed to get more tired. When he handed the bottle back to Phil, he wormed his way under the covers and shivered, asking for another blanket. Phil laughed, replying with a “Sure, mate.” As he draped a red blanket on top of Sapnap, a hand grasped his wrist. Sapnap was looking at him with pleading eyes. “Phil, do you have any stuffed animals? Dream still has my stuffed fox at his house. I like to sleep with stuffed animals. Do you have any?” Phil knew he didn’t but his mind perked up at the mention of foxes. He rubbed a hand through Sapnap’s sweat-soaked hair.

“I can get you a fox, Sapnap, just wait for a bit.” With one more sleepy nod, Sapnap was off to sleep, and Phil went onto his communicator. 

Technoblade was seething as he stalked through the Nether. The pigmen he passed as he stalked a familiar path stayed away from him, and they stared as he walked by. They knew of the Blood God, and they knew that he was a force to be reckoned with. Some of them had seen Technoblade in the Nether before, with pale, scarred skin and a human body. This was the Blood God- a piglin figure that towered over every creature in the Nether, whose pink skin and scarred snout struck fear in everyone who saw it. 

As Techno walked down his path, a small pigman and his mother walked in front of him. The small boy tripped and landed right in front of Technoblade, and every pigman in the vicinity froze. The boy’s mother watched from the side with horror as the Blood God knelt to her sniffling boy, who had scraped his knee from the fall. Techno held out a hand for the pigman who took it without hesitation. He silently picked up the boy and brought him to a natural dip in the Nether wall, setting him down and putting a bandage on his small scrape. The pigman looked up at the Blood God in awe, and he was even more starstruck as he ruffled his hair and walked away without another word. 

The pigmen present stared at the retreating Blood God with shock in their eyes.

Technoblade’s pace quickened as he saw what he was looking for. At the other side of a lava lake was a bastion he repaired, its residents diving in and out of the building happily. Every time Techno went to see them, they always greeted him with a smile and gave him the utmost respect out of thanks for his help and his fighting abilities. As the bastion came closer, a piglin spotted him and ran up to greet him with a golden nugget in their hands. It was a young piglin, Techno could tell, so this measly nugget was probably a massive part of their gold collection. Techno took it with a grunt of thanks, and he put it in the pocket of his cloak. He spoke to the young piglin. “Can you take me inside? I need to talk to the chief.” The young piglin squealed in delight, grabbing Techno by the hand and dragging him through the repaired bastion. 

Piglins everywhere stopped and stared at Techno as he walked past, but he paid them no mind. As he reached the throne room, he thanked the small piglin. “Thank you for your trouble, young one. Take this as thanks.” Techno almost laughed at the way the piglin’s eyes lit up. In their hands was an entire block of gold and a dainty gold tiara. 

“Is this really for me, sir?” The piglin’s voice was soft as they spoke, and when Techno nodded, tears came into their eyes. They left, squealing with joy as they ran through the hallways. Techno turned his attention to the chief.

“I want to have a battle.” 

The chief snorted and sent his servants away to prepare the arena for bloodshed. All Techno had to do now was wait. 

The chief could sense his tension as his servants dashed around the room, running in and out of the hallways and announcing that there was going to be a battle. Technoblade stood still at the foot of the chief's throne, his eyes scanning every person that entered his vision. The chief hobbled down to him and shook his hand in a proper overworld greeting. 

“Is there a reason for this battle, Technoblade? It’s very unlike you to want to do this, especially considering that there was no word of your desire beforehand.” Techno grunted and glared at the chief.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone I care about. Your soldiers are good fighters that see me as something holy. They will let me fight them with honor, and their deaths will not be looked down upon. You have soldiers ready and willing to fight, no?” The chief was shocked at Techno’s honesty. Never before had he willingly suggested a battle; it was always their people that wanted the opportunity to fight him.

“Yes, we have soldiers that are willing to fight, I can guarantee you that. The opportunity to fight the Blood God is too great to pass up. You will get your fight, don’t worry about that, young Technoblade.” 

When the chief looked at Technoblade, he could swear that he saw something dangerous in his eyes.

Fundy was deep in the mines when his communicator went off. He flinched at the sudden interruption of the silence, but he took out his communicator anyways. Setting his pickaxe down, he leaned against his furnaces and scanned over his messages. His eyes widened when he saw that Phil was the one messaging him, not Dream or Eret. 

_ Phil: hey Fundy :) _

_ Phil: Can you come over for a bit? _

_ Phil: this is important _

Fundy stared down at his communicator in shock. Phil was asking him to come over to his house and discuss something important. Phil had never reached out to him before.

_ Fundy: is something wrong? _

_ Phil: ye _

_ Phil: We can fix it together  _

_ Fundy: be there as soon as I can _

With his final message sent, Fundy scrambled to get his things in order. He ripped the iron out of his furnaces and tore through his chests, taking his ores and ingots with him as he made his way to the surface. Fundy could feel a smile forming at his lips when he reached the surface and felt cold rain pelt down onto him. Taking in a breath, Fundy set off running, letting out small yips and barks as the community house came into view. Fundy could swear that he wasn’t wearing any armour with how light he felt, despite the gloomy atmosphere around him. Before he made his way out of the community house, a voice rang out behind him.

“Fundy?” Fundy turned around to see Eret behind him, a bewildered look on their face. Fundy dashed over to them, his tail swinging back and forth happily. “Is there any particular reason why you look like you’re going to explode?” Fundy grinned, and Eret could see that his canines were getting longer and sharper as they spoke. They could see that Fundy’s ears were perking up, and that orange fur was slowly descending onto his forehead. 

“Phil wants to talk to me, Eret. He wants to properly talk- he said that it was important and that we could fix it together! My grandpa wants to talk to me Eret!” Eret’s eyes widened at Fundy’s words. Eret ruffled Fundy’s hair and shooed him away, ushering him out the door. 

“I’ll always be here if you need me. Remember that, Fundy.” 

Fundy turned and gave them a happy yip before running down the Prime Path to L’Manberg.

Eret had a bad feeling about this.

Fundy bounded up the stairs to Phil’s house, knocking on the door quickly. He yelled to the inside. “Phil, it’s me! You wanted to talk about something?” Over the pittering of the rain, Fundy could barely hear footsteps coming to the door. The door swung open to reveal a tired and slightly disheveled Phil. “Phil, are you alright? Can I come in?” Phil opened the door wider and allowed Fundy to step in. Fundy stood in the middle of the room and shook like a dog, spreading the water that was covering him flying to the floor and the couches. As Fundy went to sit on the couch, he couldn’t see Phil’s nod of distaste. Phill looked to see that Fundy was sitting straight up, his tail swaying behind him and his sharp canines showing through his smile. 

“Phil, you wanted to talk to me? You said it was important? I’m happy that you were the one to start this conversation, honestly. Thank you for inviting me.” Phil sat across from Fundy, brushing off what Fundy had said.

“I need your help, Fundy.” Fundy perked up at his words. “Do you know Sapnap?” Phil could see Fundy deflate before him. 

With a small voice, Fundy spoke. “Sapnap? What does Sapnap have to do with us?” Phil stood up and started talking with his hands. 

“Sapnap is sick, and he said that foxes bring him comfort. You can fully transform into a fox, right? I think that would help him, he’s a little stressed after Dream killed him.” Fundy shrunk into himself even more. 

“Is that all you wanted to call me here for?” Phil looked confused at Fundy’s question. 

“Yeah? Was there something else you needed, Fundy?” Fundy could feel the tears forming in his eyes, but he forced them down and spoke.

“You called me over here to help Sapnap? Really? I came rushing over here from some random mine to hear that my grandpa didn’t want to talk to me. I thought that you wanted to  _ talk  _ with me, to get to know your grandson, to apologize for prioritizing other people over your own family, and leaving me to find a family somewhere else? Since when do you care about  _ Sapnap  _ more than me?”

Phil stared at Fundy with wide eyes.

_ “Did I push away my grandson, who looks up to anyone older than him as a parental figure?” _

“Fundy, we were going to talk!” The thought hadn’t even crossed Phil’s mind when he messaged Fundy. “We can talk, sit down, and have a conversation after this is done-”

“After what is done, Phil? After what? After you ask me to be a stuffed animal for your new kid? Is that what you want me to do?” Phil sighed. This was not where he wanted this conversation to be going.

“Listen, can you do this one thing for me, son?” 

The tears finally came down.

_ “What have you done for me?  _ You made me turn to my nation’s traitor for comfort, and they’ll be a better parent than you ever were, Phil! Don’t  _ son  _ me. You don’t have the right to call me that after the shit you just pulled. Come and talk to me when you start caring about your grandson more than some other kid and you pry your head out of your ass.” 

Fundy transformed before Phil’s eyes, turning into a fox and dashing through the door, standing on the coffee table and knocking everything over in the process. As one final touch, Fundy ran back and bit Phil in the shin. 

The orange fox disappeared into the rain and got smaller by the second. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments!! This chapter was a pain in the ass to write so that's why it took linger than normal for an upload  
> -SORRY FOR THE RUSHED ENDING!!-  
> This chapter was already pretty long, and I didn't want to overload one single chapter with like two side stories  
> you will get your angst soon, bitches


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy wakes up and contacts Dream while the Blood God slaughters soldiers in the Nether.  
> TW- mentions of past abuse, canon typical violence  
> TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme tell you this is one fucking fever dream of a chapter  
> you shall get your angst soon my children, next chapter mayhaps

Tommy felt like he had been hit with a ton of bricks when he woke up. He could feel a headache starting to form behind his eyes, and he felt exhaustion in every vein of his body. He tried moving his head a bit, but the throbbing the movement brought made him decide against it. He could hear the rain pelting the roof of Phil’s house, and he could see lights from behind his eyelids. There was a shift next to him, and suddenly Sapnap was on the bed next to him, having respawned in his fight against Dream.

Sapnap had died because of Tommy. Tommy willed himself to be still, to not make Tubbo any more panicked than he already was. He could hear him and Phil yelling, but he couldn’t exactly make out the words. He was too tired to try and make sense of their loud words. All he knew was that their yelling was his fault, and that Dream hadn’t picked him up as he asked him to.

Had he done something wrong? He thought that Dream was happy with him for calling him and telling him that he wanted the treat to be over early, but he had clearly made a mistake. Techno was surely mad at him for yelling down to Dream. He said that he was trying to protect him, to care for him, but Tommy just couldn’t believe that. 

Tubbo still had his compass with him and a picture of them on the inside, but Dream said that  _ he  _ was his only friend. Tubbo would’ve seen him sooner if he had cared. He wanted to go back to Dream; he  _ needed  _ to go back to Dream.

He felt Tubbo lay down next to him and he could feel him latch onto his arm. He was going to go back to his Dream. For now, he could enjoy his treat as much as he could before he had to go back. He grasped Tubbo’s hand and let himself succumb to sleep again.

Sapnap’s movements woke him up. He was wriggling about, and he was giving off waves of heat. Tommy was coherent enough to hear that he was sick and talking to Phil, who he then heard go downstairs. He came back up with something in his hands that he gave to Sapnap, who eagerly took it. He heard him mumble something to Phil, something about foxes and Dream’s house. Phil said something else to him, and then he went back downstairs. Sapnap was relaxing next to him, drifting off into sleep again. 

Now was his chance.

Tommy gently took out his communicator, opening his eyes and looking at Tubbo and Sapnap to make sure he didn’t rouse them. With one hand, he messaged Dream.

_ TommyInnit: Dream? _

Dream was milling about his house, walking weakly and propping himself up against walls to regain his balance. Summoning rain, fighting Sapnap, dying,  _ and  _ teleporting had not been good on his body. He was a shaking mess, every limb twitching and jolting, begging him to sit down, to relax. He had managed to sit on his couch when his communicator went off. The message was from Tommy.

_ TommyInnit: Dream are you okay? _

_ TommyInnit: You didn’t pick me up  _

_ TommyInnit: Sapnap respawned next to me and he’s sick I think _

_ TommyInnit: Said some shit about foxes bein at your house _

Dream chuckled lightly to himself. Above his fireplace was Sapnap’s plush fox, Flower. George had gotten it for him when they were wandering around some random village as a gag birthday gift, but they both caught him sleeping with it afterward. It was slightly dirty and love-worn in some places, and that only made Dream’s heartache a little bit. 

He did what he had to do, and he knew he might have to do it eventually. 

_ Dream: That would be Sapnap’s stuffed animal _

Thousands of blacks away, Tommy had to hold back a wheeze.

_ TommyInnit: I don’t want this to sound all ordery and shit but we need to hurry this up _

_ TommyInnit: Phil is downstairs and I don’t know when he’ll come back up or when Techno will come back _

_ TommyInnit: Sapnap and Tubbo are both out cold so I don’t have to worry about them _

_ TommyInnit: When can you take me home? _

_ Dream: Patience is a virtue, Tommy, I thought you had learned this by now. When I pick you up we’ll need to have another lesson on that. _

Tommy didn’t like Dream’s patience lessons. He made Tommy patient for food that he desperately needed, and he made Tommy patient for bandages and salves to cover his open wounds that Dream made. He made Tommy patient for sleep, only allowing him to shut his eyes when he felt like he was on the brink of death. Tommy didn’t like Dream’s lessons, but it  _ did  _ sound like he needed another one.

_ TommyInnit: okay _

_ TommyInnit: I’ll stay up here in the loft and wait _

_ TommyInnit: Phil would stop me if I tried to move sayin some shit like you need to take it easy  _

_ Dream: You said Techno isn’t there?  _

_ TommyInnit: No he’s not and I have to go Dream _

_ TommyInnit: love you _

Dream wasn’t sure if Tommy had meant to send that last message, but it made him happy nonetheless. In exile, he did come to see Tommy as some sort of a brother, one that looked up to him and wanted to do everything he did. He was Tommy’s older brother; his puppetmaster; his commander; his god.

Maybe using the brother card would be useful in the future. For now, though, Dream allowed himself to tip over on the couch, not bothering to lift his legs onto the cushions before he was out cold. 

He would rescue Tommy soon.

Technoblade heard the roaring of the coliseum before he stepped out into the arena. Thousands of piglins and pigmen had shown up from neighboring bastions just to watch Technoblade fight their soldiers. The coliseum was massive, the arena being filled with packed-down dirt Techno had given them from the surface. He was curious as to why the chief wanted a coliseum, but he explained that participating in battles and getting bloody and bruised was a sign of strength for piglins. 

Techno was surprised he didn’t figure that out sooner. 

He was walking in a narrow hallway, his axe in his hand as he entered the arena. The boom of the crowd grew louder as they saw the Blood God enter, cheering and clapping and praising his skills. Some of the audience members even threw down gold at his feet, paving his path to the middle of the arena. 

In his booth, the chief stood up and held up his hands, silencing the crowd. He cleared his throat and threw out his hands. “Piglins, pigmen, residents of the Nether, I welcome you to our coliseum!” A roar of applause. “The mighty Blood God Technoblade has asked for a battle with any of the soldiers that were willing to fight him, or who deemed themselves worthy. A whopping two-hundred have volunteered to fight this legend, and they will face him with pride!” As the chief finished speaking, the crowd erupted into cheers. There were shouts, screams, laughter and songs ringing out through the arena. “If any of these brave soldiers die, they have died with honor, and their names will be carved onto the coliseum walls to remember their bravery. We will send out ten at a time-” Technoblade had raised his hand, silencing the chief. He cleared his throat, and his voice boomed throughout the arena.

“Before we start, I want to thank the chief for putting together this battle. I thank his generosity and your kindness towards me.” He let his words sit in the air before speaking again. “However, I want you to send out all two-hundred of your soldiers at once.” 

The crowd was on their feet, yelling at Technoblade in disbelief. The yelling only continued before the chief silenced them again, and looked down to the Blood God. “Are you sure about this, Blood God? They will not hold back.” The audience was tense waiting for Techno’s response. He chuckled to himself and brought his axe down in an arch. 

“Send them out.”

The crowd cheered. 

“Let the battle begin!” 

On the other side of Technoblade, a gate opened up, and two-hundred piglins in shiny golden armour ran straight at him, their swords out and crossbows drawn. Techno smiled, a cruel and unforgiving smile, and he charged at them. His axe sliced through chest after chest and neck after neck, taking down anyone in his path. His crossbow hit home every time, an arrow finding itself through the eye of every piglin it was shot at. Piglins ganged up on him, attacking all at once and synchronizing their movements, but even their coordinated teamwork was no match for the Blood God. 

Techno’s blood was singing, his mind screaming with joy and relief at the blood he was spilling. He put his anger into every swing, into every arrow he shot. He let his anger at Dream let itself go with every head that fell, and he let his anger with Phil dissipate with every pair of legs he swept out. He let out his sorrow with Tommy and Tubbo’s situation with every heart he stabbed. Techno was smiling, dancing with his old friend Death whom he had not seen in too long. When he retired, Death danced around him, never asking for his hand in the next song. Techno grew restless. The voices grew louder and louder, and Death seemed to be taunting him with their beautiful waltz. 

Tommy trying to end his life only pushed his restlessness and bloodlust closer to the surface. He forced himself to be calm for Tommy. 

But then he hadn’t done anything to protect Sapnap, and he had ended up respawning next to Tommy’s unconscious figure. 

The bloodlust burst through the surface of his mind, and the Blood God was in Phil’s house, ready to kill the bastard in front of Phil’s door, but he had disappeared before he could have the sweet release of death on his hands. He could almost see his favorite dancing partner in front of him, holding out their skeletal hand and asking him to dance. He reached his hand out, but Death pulled their hand back, teasing him, and guiding him to the Nether. He had had the same thought; he never liked to take the lives of people who had no reason to die. But his anger was too strong and his voices were too loud to say no. 

He missed dancing with Death, and he missed their familiar waltz. Death was smiling at him as they danced around the bodies that fell at Techno’s feet. Techno felt giddy with relief, the blood he had been yearning for  _ finally  _ spilling. His retirement was quiet and peaceful, but he had missed the bloodshed of battle too much to stay away, even if his hand was forced at that moment. With everybody he cut down, Techno could feel himself getting farther away. He was no longer in a dirty, bloody arena, but in a grand ballroom, moonlight shining through gossamer curtains as he danced with Death. He was no longer the Blood God, but Technoblade, his long pink hair being tied behind his head in a neat bun. The piano started playing somewhere far away. 

Techno leaped and spun throughout the room, pirouetting and landing in elegant plies. He could feel Death beside him, guiding him through their dance with their hand around his waist. The piano started to speed up, Techno’s movements speeding up with them. He could faintly see from somewhere in his mind that he was stepping over bodies that were shrouded with golden armour and that were covered in blood. With one final step, Death lifted him into the air and he dipped his back in a graceful arch, landing in the fifth position with his arm rounded by his side. He could hear faint applause of an audience he didn’t know was there, and he lifted his head to see that he was covered in blood and that his axe was pointed at the only piglin left.

Technoblade saw Death bow at him from behind his last victim, and he gave them a curt smile. The bodies around him were still, but the quivering piglin in front of him caught his attention.

It was the piglin from before. They were wearing the tiara he gave them, and the chestplate they crafted hung loosely off of them. They raised their sword on shaky hands and took one step towards the Blood God. Techno lowered his axe and slung it behind his back, walking towards the small piglin who started to back away frantically. 

Technoblade was calm. The bloodlust that had been simmering in his veins for too long was out of his body, and his anger was slowly dissipating. He was still angry at Phil, at Dream, and himself, but it was no longer a blind, uncontrollable fury. He watched as the piglin tripped over a fallen sword, and they looked up at Techno with horror in their eyes. Techno took a deep breath, and he could feel himself starting to transform back to normal. He could feel his snout shrinking, and he could feel his muscle going back to a human level. He saw his pink skin turn back to normal, and he could feel his long hair being swept in front of his face. The crowd was hushed, waiting and watching for what he would do. 

Techno held his hand to the piglin, who was still quivering with fear, but who took in nonetheless. Techno leaned down to their ear, and spoke so only they could hear him. “Do you know how to dance?” The piglin looked up at him with wide eyes before responding in a shaky voice. 

“I-I do, sir.” Techno grabbed onto their hand tighter, and spun them around in his arms, before dipping them.

“Would you like to dance with me instead of fighting me?” 

The piglin could only nod happily, the terror finally leaving their bones. 

Techno and the young piglin waltzed slowly around the blood-stained floor, the bodies having poofed away at that point. He could hear the chief laugh from his booth before jumping down in the arena with him, ushering the audience to their feet with a wave. Soon, the bloody floor was covered with people dancing and twirling and laughing. A small orchestra had somehow made their way to the chief’s booth playing a swaying melody that carried everyone’s movements. Techno only danced with the scared piglin from before, never switching partners even if the dance called for it. 

As the songs started slowing down and the bloodlust from the people lessened, Techno spoke to the people in the arena. 

“I thank you for letting me fight your soldiers, and I am happy that I could offer them a dignified death. You might not ever see the Blood God again, but I thank you for welcoming me with open arms, even though I was the Blood God. I thank you for that more than you will ever know. Now, orchestra, can you keep playing?”

The music started up again, and their makeshift ball continued.

Techno thought that in that moment of peace, everything might be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you CANNOT tell me that Techno can't:  
> -waltz  
> -ballet dance  
> i'm sorry he's a rich asshole with fancy pastimes he knows how to dance
> 
> Please leave comments!! Please!! Please!! Please!! Please!! PleASE-


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Technoblade comes up from the Nether and bumps into Fundy who allows himself comfort. Guilt tears away at Phil.  
> TW- TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING  
> ~this is the first chapter in this damn thing without a trigger warning good christ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is SLOW, but I had to write some filler to get the main characters back together again. You get it.  
> FOR THE PEOPLE COMING FOR TOMMY ANGST- DO NOT WORRY   
> The angst will be here within the next chapter or so, and my god, will it hurt. That chapter _will_ need a trigger warning. Several, in fact. Maybe a line break, even.
> 
> Get ready for THAT, assholes.

Technoblade held a small smile on his lips as he made his way through the Nether. His legs held a pleasant ache from the dancing he did, and his arms ached from the strain of fighting. The waltz had only continued for a few minutes, but it helped him calm down even more. The people around him were starstruck, some giving him fleeting smiles and messages of thanks for battling their children while he danced with the jumpy piglin in his arms. He had stopped the orchestra, bowed to the crowd, and left through the hallway he came in through. Before he left, he slipped the piglin he danced with another block of gold.

He could tell when they noticed from the happy squealing he heard from down the hallway. 

As he left the now-barren bastion, he could hear the orchestra music start up again. He hummed along to the tune even when it got out of earshot, and he continued humming it as he stepped into the overworld. 

He was hit with a powerful gust of wind and a smattering of cold water, but it was nice after being in the hot Nether and fighting in full netherite armour. Technoblade merely looked up to the shining light of the moon that he could barely see behind the cloud and smiled. 

He forgot that this happened. It hadn’t happened in so long he forgot this downside to suppressing his urges existed. He had done it once when he was younger, not wanting to accept or acknowledge his bloodlust after he had accidentally hurt a wayward traveler. He didn’t kill anything for months, and it exhausted him. When he finally snapped and quelled his bloodlust and quieted his voices, he was in a daze for the rest of the day. Technoblade scolded himself as he walked on the Prime Path, forcing himself to focus on the matter at hand.

Phil hadn’t listened to Tubbo, and neither had he.

Tommy wasn’t okay, and he believed that everything they were doing for him was a lie.

Sapnap was sick.

Tubbo was asleep and sad.

Fox. 

Techno’s eyes caught on the running blob of orange at his feet. The fox looked up at him with wide eyes, but Techno only smiled. The fox looked very soft, but its fur was getting wet. He crouched down, a dopey smile on his face, and made calling noises at the fox. The fox wouldn’t budge, and it started to back away slowly. Techno sighed and called out to it again.

“C’mon, foxy. You’re all cold and you honestly look very soft. I think I can make a pitstop to Eret’s castle to get a blanket or something- oh.” The fox ran up to sniff his waiting hand at the mention of Eret’s castle. Technoblade happily looked down at the fox and gently scooped it up into his arms, turning around and heading to Eret’s castle.

Phil could handle himself and look after three kids while he was gone- it wasn’t like he was helpless. The fox made a little noise, and Techno cooed at it, holding it right under his chin and petting its head.

Fundy had no idea what was going on. All he wanted to do was jump into Eret’s arms and cry while he got scratches behind his ears. 

Phil hadn’t even thought about him. He hadn’t even  _ cared.  _ He was  _ furious  _ at Phil. Fundy honestly hoped that the bite he gave him got infected. He asked his grandson to be a stuffed animal for a man that helped take down his nation, and he said that they would talk after that demeaning favor. There was no way Fundy was going to admit to it out loud, but he didn’t mind acting like a stuffed animal, even if he was human. He liked being warm and being in the arms of people he cared about, and Eret was one of those people. As he ran to the castle, he stopped and stared with horror at Technoblade, who had trickles of blood slowly dripping down his armour. 

Fundy wanted to  _ run.  _ He wanted to  _ hide,  _ but what Technoblade did stopped his rushing thoughts. He crouched down and called to him as if he was a cat.

_ What the fuck.  _

Technoblade, the Blood God, was cooing at him like he was the greatest thing he had ever seen, but Fundy did not trust the man in front of him. Technoblade might know that he was Fundy, and he didn't want to risk his life for the sake of comfort.

“C’mon, foxy. You’re all cold and you honestly look very soft. I think I can make a pitstop to Eret’s castle to get a blanket or something-” 

A false sense of security be damned, Fundy wasn’t going to say no to a ride to Eret’s castle. He ran up to Techno who looked at him happily, and he let out a small yip when Techno picked him up. Techno started to pet him and mumble to him, muttering about how cute the little fox was. Fundy yipped again, and Techno held him closer, petting him right behind the ears. Technoblade actually giggled when Fundy nudged into his hand, and at that moment he knew something was wrong. Eret would be able to fix it when they got to their castle. 

Eret was sitting on their throne, silently reading when Technoblade barged into their castle, an orange bundle in his arms. The bundle wriggled out of his grasp and ran to Eret, who opened their arms immediately to Fundy. They knew it was Fundy the second Technoblade brought him in- they would recognize their kid anywhere, human or fox. Eret nearly toppled over when a now-human Fundy barreled into them, grasping their cape in tight fists. As Eret started to calm Fundy down, their patience with Phil faltered even more. 

They knew that something wasn’t quite right the second a happy Fundy stumbled into them at the community house and said that  _ Phil  _ wanted to talk with him. Phil  _ never  _ wanted to talk. They slowly maneuvered Fundy to sit on their throne, and they pulled out their communicator. 

_ Eret: Phil? _

_ Phil: What is it _

_ Eret: We need to talk about whatever you did to my son _

_ Eret: Before you respond, I need to calm him down  _

_ Eret: He’ll come to you when he wants to, and you two  _ will  _ talk, alright? _

While Eret was using their communicator, they didn’t notice Techno walk behind them and they only realized it when Fundy let out happy little trills. They turned around to see Techno scratching Fundy under the chin while both of them smiling like idiots. With Eret’s attention on him, Fundy moved Techno’s hand to his ears so he could talk to Eret easier. Technoblade started touching and petting Fundy’s soft ears and was amazed when they perked back up after he pushed them down. “I don’t know what happened, but Techno has been acting like  _ this  _ ever since I ran into him at the Path. He  _ giggled  _ at me, Eret. Do you know what the fuck is wrong with him?” Fundy leaned into Techno’s hand as he continued to pet his ears.

Eret had to hold back a coo at the sight. Techno was smiling down at Fundy petting him like a cat, and Fundy was  _ responding  _ to his touch like a cat. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but I can give him a healing potion and see if that does anything. Techno?” Techno’s sleepy eyes looked at Eret. “Do you know what happened to you?” They were happy when he nodded dumbly.

“It happens when I suppress the Blood God side too much. Finally giving in and fightin’ the piglins made my bloodlust and my voices go all quiet. Makes me all happy and relaxed like this. And then I danced in the Nether with this kid I gave a tiara to. I’m preeetty sure this will wear off in a bit.” Fundy and Eret looked at Techno with surprise. Fundy took his hand off of his head and looked at Techno in the eyes. 

“So, until this wears off, you’ll act  _ high?”  _ Techno scoffed. 

“Not  _ high. _ It’s like I haven’t slept in a long time and everything seems fuzzy. I just need to rest while this wears off.” Techno’s eyes wandered to the flowers next to Eret’s fountain. A poppy and a lily of the valley caught his eye, and he lit up and turned to Eret. “Do you wanna see Tommy? I think he’ll like your cape.” Eret and Fundy looked at him with a perplexed expression. Fundy spoke to Techno.

“Uh, Techno? Tommy is in exile who  _ knows  _ how many blocks away. This high thing really must be getting to you, man.” Techno shook his head happily. 

“No, he’s not there anymore! I took him home so he can recover, and now he’s at Phil’s house! Tubbo and Sapnap are there, too. Sapnap has been pretty sick after Dream killed him, but he should be fine.” Fundy scoffed. 

“Dream wouldn’t kill his best friend, Techno. My fiance might be a bit cold at times, but he wouldn’t do that.” Techno’s expression saddened, and his gaze fell to the floor. He kicked his foot against the wooden floor, not meeting Fundy’s gaze. 

The silence was unbearable. 

“So, uh, you said that Tommy was back, right? Neither of us wants to talk to Phil very much at the moment, but we would be happy to drop by. Right, Fundy?” Eret looked expectantly at Fundy, who shrunk in Eret’s throne. 

“I’ll go to see Tommy, but I don’t want to see Phil right now.” Eret nodded. They would have to get Fundy to tell them what happened as soon as he wanted to talk. They knew that forcing people to open up was never a good thing, especially in a sensitive situation like this. They nodded at Fundy.

“You don’t have to, Fundy. Techno, you lead the way.” Techno nodded at Eret and he stepped away from Fundy, letting his arms swing by his sides as he walked to the entrance of the castle, Eret and Fundy following behind him. Techno stopped before the rain could touch him and he turned to Fundy with a smile. 

“Can I hold the fox again? Fluffy things are grounding for me, and I’m still kinda floatin’ around here. You can say no though, Foxy.” Techno nodded to himself, happy with his words. Fundy shuffled his feet.

“Uh, no thank you, Techno.” Techno nodded again, accepting Fundy’s response. Fundy was still nervous to be around Techno if he was sleep-deprived or not. Before Techno could go farther into the rain, Eret called his name.

“You can hold onto the inside of my cape if you want to. Yours is all wet and mine is still soft.” Techno walked over to Eret and grabbed a corner of his cap, running the soft material through his fingers and grunting. 

“Thank you, Eret. The rain will hopefully wake me up a bit. I don’t like being like this very much. I’ll take you to Phil’s house now.”

With Eret and Fundy at his side, Techno set off into the rain to go to Phil’s house. The walk there was mostly silent, save for Techno’s comments that came out of nowhere. 

“Your hair looks soft, Eret.”

“My eyelids  _ really  _ want to shut right now.”

“That flower tastes bad. Don’t eat it.”

“What time is it?” 

“Wilbur gave me a friendship bracelet that had the same color as that wall. It’s in my enderchest.”

“One time I had to stop Ghostbur from eating some of his blue. I didn’t want him to get sick or something, so I ate some later to make sure it wasn’t poisonous. It wasn’t, it was just a rock.”

“I hope that Niki’s shop is open because I  _ really  _ need a coffee.”

The seemingly never-ending walk in the rain finally came to an end, much to Fundy and Eret’s delight. They were stopped outside of Phil’s door, and Techno opened it without hesitation. As Techno barged in and saw Phil on the couch bandaging a wound on his leg, Fundy let out a quiet snicker. Phil’s head shot up at the unexpected noise, and his eyes softened when he saw Fundy but hardened when he saw Eret’s hand settled protectively on his shoulder. Techno spoke to Phil before he had the chance to speak.

“Uh, Phil, do you have a regen pot? I kinda need one right now.” Phil looked at him with confusion before something clicked in his head. He laughed and went around the living room, rummaging through his chests while trying not to limp from the bite Fundy gave him. Eret could feel the happiness radiating off of Fundy as he watched Phil stumble, and they could put two and two together. They softly shoved Fundy before shaking their head at him, but Fundy could see the small smile they were trying to hide. Phil let out a noise of triumph before throwing a potion to Techno.

“Did you forget that this happened, mate? After you finish that you should go to bed. That must’ve taken a lot out of you, and you haven’t slept much at all in the past day or so. You can place another bed upstairs or worm your way in with the other if you want- I’m sure they won’t mind.” Phil pat Techno on the bed before pushing him towards the ladder. Techno drove his heels into the ground and went to sit on the couch, patting the spots next to him and waving Fundy and Eret over. Phil looked at Techno, confused as to what he was doing. As Eret settled down next to Techno, Fundy transformed and jumped into Eret’s arms, glaring at Phil. “What’s this, then?” Phil was looking at Eret when he spoke. 

“Phil, thank you for the regen. I can already feel it working, which is a good thing considering what’s about to happen.” Fundy curled into Eret further. Phil chucked a confused, guilty chuckle.

He knew where this conversation was going, and he wasn’t ready.

But he had to be.

“Phil, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the slow-pace chapter!! And the bullshit logic!! And the VERY OOC Technoblade!! This is a fanfiction I can do what I want back off-
> 
> Please leave comments, and tell me if I need to add anything for the TW!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno, Eret, and Fundy talk about Phil's terrible parenting while Sapnap gets sicker and Tommy gets taken.   
> TW- terrible parenting, yelling, mentions of neglect, guilt tripping, mentions of betrayal, a teeny-tiny bit of violence, a small mention of blood, paranoia and anxiety, mentions of past abuse  
> TELL ME IF I NEED TO ADD ANYTHING ELSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here have some plot   
> I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY THAT THE TOMMY ANGST WILL COME _NEXT CHAPTER!!_ THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT!!

Phil sat down in front of Techno, sitting tall and not allowing his guilt to show on his face; through his eyes. Eret, with Fundy still in their arms, grinned at Phil and watched him squirm under their gaze. They could feel Fundy turn around in their arms and face Phil, nothing showing behind his eyes. Phil looked at his grandson sitting in a stranger’s arms, and he said nothing as Eret stared him down. They then had the  _ audacity  _ to prop their legs up on Phil’s mahogany coffee table, allowing the water and mud from their boots to drop onto Phil’s table. 

Eret could swear they heard Phil growl, an unearthly, dangerous growl. 

“Techno, I don’t know what we have to talk about. What’s this about?” Phil knew exactly what Techno was going to talk about, but he was  _ praying  _ that he was wrong. Techno rubbed his eyes, wiping as much tiredness out of them as he could before looking at Phil. 

“Phil, to put it bluntly, your empathy skills are severely lacking, especially in the immediate family department.” Phil grimaced. He didn’t want to acknowledge this. He wanted to hide from what he had done, what he  _ was _ doing, but his problems had run after him and pinned him down, no matter how much he wanted them to let him up. Phil looked at Techno, ice in his eyes.

“You’ve never had the responsibility of looking after someone on your shoulders. You don’t know how hard it is, Blood God. I tried-” Techno looked at him with sad eyes.

“You tried. You  _ tried,  _ but you didn’t  _ do.  _ Tommy and Wilbur wrote you letters when the first was started, but you never came when they needed you most. You replied with a hello and well wishes, but you never helped them when they were on the battlefield. You didn’t even meet your grandson until just recently, Phil.” Every word struck Phil like a stone.

“I did whatever I could to help, Techno. It’s not like you ran out to help them at the first sign of danger!” Techno’s shoulders squared. 

“You think I wasn’t worried? You think I didn’t care- didn’t try to contact them? Of course, I was worried about them, Phil. Tommy and Tubbo are still kids, and you had the genius idea to let them leave together with Wilbur! They started a nation and waged wars, and they lost their lives, Phil.

I had no idea where they were, and I only came to their side after  _ they  _ sent me a letter from Pogtopia. I was their last resort after you, Phil, and I didn’t wait to help them.” 

“You were mature enough at their age to go out and wage wars! I never stopped you from doing what you wanted to, so why should I have stopped them?” 

_ “We’re not the same people, Phil!  _ Not all of you kids are bloodthirsty hybrids who have the name ‘Blood God!’ You would leave them alone while you helped me, and they stayed silent about it! They were lonely, and they needed you, Phil! Even when they went away, they never stopped contacting you, but you never cared!” Phil stood up and the couch was pushed slightly backward. 

“Of course I cared. I am their  _ dad-  _ of course, I cared. I was there when they needed me. I was there when they scraped their knees, I was there when they were sick, and I was there when they were hurt!” Techno stood up as well, his soggy cape billowing behind him. 

“I was there, Phil!  _ I  _ gave them bandages,  _ I  _ gave them medicine when they were sick, and  _ I  _ was there when they were hurt, even if I was the one hurting them. Tell me, Phil, when is Tommy’s birthday?” Phil scoffed at the ridiculous question. 

“Tommy is my son, of course I know his birthday. It’s April sixth.” Techno’s shoulders sagged. He chuckled to himself.

“I was joking when I asked that, Phil, but Tommy’s birthday is on April ninth.” With every word he said, his voice got quieter. Phil’s eyes widened in disbelief. 

“No, no, his birthday is on the sixth. I know  _ all  _ of my kid’s birthdays, Techno. Wilbur’s birthday was on September twelfth. Tubbo’s birthday is on December twenty-sixth. Fundy’s birthday is on November eleventh.  _ Your  _ birthday is on June first.” Techno’s eyes sank to the ground. He looked to Eret who only held onto Fundy tighter while he hid in their arms. If looks could kill, Phil would be dead where he stood. They stood up and placed a hand onto Techno’s shoulder and gently pushed him down onto the couch. They handed Fundy off to Technoblade before walking up to Phil. Fundy yipped from Techno’s arms, looking at them for some sort of idea of what they were doing. They turned around and shot Fundy a smile. 

“Don’t worry, cub, I got this.” Phil scoffed at the nickname, but he didn’t miss the way Fundy lit up at it. They were then met with Eret, who emanated cool fury with every step they took towards Phil. They took off their sunglasses as they looked deep into Phil’s eyes. 

“Phil, you only got  _ one  _ of their birthdays right, and that was Technoblade’s. Wilbur said something about this once. He said something about nepotism once when he was leading L’Manberg, but I didn't listen. I know all of their birthdays.” Phil scoffed again.

“So?” Eret let out a terse sigh while their fists clenched at their sides. 

_ “So,  _ it means that I care. I really did care about Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur while they lead L’Manberg. I loved them all, even though I hurt them. I stay away from them because I know they don’t want to see me. They can never forgive me, and I can accept that. I took the time to get to know them, to  _ befriend  _ them, to  _ love  _ them while you stayed away. I know their birthdays because it shows that I care.” 

Phil was fuming. Eret came into their house with his grandson in his arms and said that he doesn't care. He could feel the familiar tingle on his neck of black scales growing in. When he spoke, there was real fury in his voice. 

_ “You don’t know anything about my kids.  _ At least I didn’t abandon a nation for greed.” Eret held their ground as Phil’s harsh words reached their ears. They never fully forgave themselves for what they did, but they didn’t need to hear a stranger tell them about their own decisions. They opened their mouth to speak, but they heard a creak from the ladder behind them.

Sapnap was covered in blankets as he descended the stairs with difficulty. His face was red and his eyes were teary as he looked around the room. He sniffled and looked to Phil. “Can I have some more of that potion you gave me?” Phil was at his side in a second, guiding him to the couch and sitting him down. He went through his chests, getting another bottle of dyed water, and gave it to Sapnap who took it with shaky hands. As he drank, Phil fussed over him, swaddling him in the blankets that had fallen, and put his hand to Sapnap’s forehead. Eret watched on in shock. 

“After hurting your  _ actual  _ kids, you coddle a stranger to ease your guilty conscience about how you hurt your kids. At least  _ I  _ didn’t abandon my kids after one negative thing happened to them.” Phil whipped around to Eret, his scales growing to his face and appearing on his arms. 

How dare they. How  _ dare  _ they use his own words against him. 

“I am helping him because he needs it, not because I need some sort of  _ substitute child. _ He’s not my kid.”

A cough from the couch lowered the tension in the room. Phil wanted to rush to Sapnap’s side, but he couldn’t. He looked down to Sapnap with indifference in his eyes. “Why are you down here anyways, mate? Wouldn't it be warmer and more comfortable upstairs?” Sapnap shook his head. 

“I was  _ too  _ hot up there. I woke up to you guys yelling and realized how uncomfortable I was, so I dragged my ass out of bed and onto the couch. I didn’t hear your conversation, by the way. My ears were a little muffled. I don’t have to explain that, you’ve been sick before. My head is muffled right now.” Sapnap giggled to himself at his words. His eyes widened when he saw a fox staring back at him. He looked to Phil with childlike wonder. “Flower? How did you get Flower from Dream’s house? Did he get wet in the rain?” Sapnap flinched as he mentioned the rain, but continued speaking. “Is Techno drying him off? I can dry him off!” Sapnap started to try and walk to Techno, but his legs gave out under him and he fell back onto the couch. He looked to Techno with big eyes. 

Techno winced before looking down at Fundy. 

“He’s actually- heh?” Fundy was pawing at Techno’s chest. He gave Techno a small nod and gestured his head to Sapnap. “Are you sure?” Techno whispered. He got another nod from Fundy, whose tail he could faintly feel wagging. “He’s  _ actually  _ dry. Uh, here you go.” Sapnap kept his eyes locked on Fundy while Technoblade awkwardly carried Fundy over. Fundy remained as still as he could when Techno picked him up and held him under the arms, not wanting Sapnap to realize that he wasn’t his beloved Flower. As Techno handed Fundy into Sapnap’s outstretched arms, Sapnap’s eyes teared up and he hugged Fundy into his arms, happy tears falling from his eyes and landing on Fundy’s fur. Sapnap softly kissed Fundy on the top of the head and looked to Phil with a beaming smile. 

“I don’t know how you did this, but thank you. I haven’t seen Flower in so long, and he’s  _ always  _ with me when I’m sick.” Sapnap pushed Fundy away while he coughed into his arm. He laid down on the couch, moving Fundy into his arms as he sleepily pets his fur. “Thank you, Dadza.” He was out like a light. Fundy wriggled further into Sapnap’s warm arms and shut his eyes, letting out soft purrs and trills. Phil ran his hand through Sapnap’s hair before scratching Fundy under the chin. He stood up, and two pairs of eyes were on him. Eret cleared their throat.

“Dadza, huh? What happened to him not being your kid?” Phil sighed in exasperation. 

“I only met him properly not even twenty-four hours ago! He’s not my kid. He’s running a high fever, and based on how happy he looked when he was petting Fundy, he probably hasn’t seen a lot of affection recently. It’s not my fault weird kids stick around me and start calling me dad.” Phil chuckled to himself. That was what happened, wasn’t it? He sat himself down next to Techno with a sigh and looked at the happily napping duo. He turned to Eret.

“Has Fundy always been close to Sapnap?” Eret shook their head and smiled at Fundy’s sleeping form.

“He’s always been a cuddle bug, and he’ll take any opportunity he can get to use someone as a personal heater. Maybe he felt bad because Sapnap was sick, too. I’m kind of surprised he let Techno put him next to Sapnap considering the war between them.” They grimaced at the mention of the wars they fought together. They sat in silence for a while, before Techno broke it with a sigh. 

“I wish I had a stuffed animal.” 

Phil and Eret tipped back their heads and cackled. Techno looked at his hands solemnly while Phil laughed so hard he coughed, and he only nodded his head grimly when Eret laughed so hard the noise stopped coming out of their mouth. Phil wiped his eyes, trying to get his laughter under control. He let out a happy sigh and ginned at Techno. “I don’t think your ‘high’ has ended yet, mate. Oh god, that was  _ perfect timing-  _ I can’t-” Phil burst into another fit of giggles. Phil rubbed his hand along Techno’s back. “I can get you a stuffed animal mate, no worries.” Techno clumsily leaned into Phil’s ear and whispered something that had Phil laughing out loud again. “Yes, I can get you that looks like a sheep. I know they’re soft, Techno, you don’t have to tell me.” Techno nodded and leaned back on the couch. 

The air was lighter. 

Sapnap and Fundy were relaxed on the couch, and the laughter Eret and Phil shared lessened the tension in the room. The lack of sleep and the stress that Phil had been faced within such a short time didn’t help his short fuse. He would have wanted to face this situation with a level head, but the damage had already been done. He said what he said, and the words can’t be taken back. 

New and kinder words can be spoken, though.

Phil stretched his arms out on the couch, putting an arm behind both Techno and Eret. He lazily looked at Eret, who was quietly putting on their glasses. 

“Can you tell me about Fundy? What does he like?” Eret tipped their head back and rested it on Phil’s arm. 

“I can tell you about him, sure. He loved redstone. I can always find little scraps of wire and redstone dust around the castle. I don’t think he should meet Sam- they would get on like a housefire.” Phil listened to Eret intently. Techno started into the wall, not quite listening to what Eret had to say.

His ears perked up. 

Through the rain, he could swear that he heard blocks being broken. He stood up abruptly, holding up his hand to stall Phil and Eret’s conversation. An annoyed grunt came out of Phil, but he only shushed him. 

Silence. 

A grunt of pain from upstairs. 

The sound of a small glass jar falling to the ground.

The thunk of a heavy foot.

Techno was rushing up the ladder before another sound was made. He drew his crossbow as he ascended the ladder, and let out a curse at what he saw. 

Tommy was gone. He could see shining netherite in the rain, and he didn’t wait another second before he ran out of the hole Dream made and shot his crossbow. A colorful eruption was seen through the rain, and he could hear Dream yell in pain. Techno started to run, bounding against the muddy ground below him. He aimed his crossbow again, but he was hit with a wave of dizziness. 

Phil was right- he should've gone to bed when he got back. 

Through blurry vision and a swimming head, he let another firework fly. 

He hit home.

He thought he did, at least. 

Tommy sank to his knees, grasping Dream’s hand and pushing himself forwards through the pain. With every step he took, a small cry could be heard coming out of Tommy’s mouth. Techno stared numbly forwards as a green beacon lit up the sky. He squinted and looked to where the light was when it disappeared. 

Tommy and Dream were nowhere to be seen. 

Techno walked forwards on shaky legs to the spot where they disappeared. There was nothing. There was no evidence that they had even been there, save for the muddy footprints and the burnt paper from fireworks. Techno looked down to see something shiny catching his eye. It was lodged in the mud, but it came out without any resistance. 

_ Your Tubbo  _

A roar rang out through the SMP. 

Techno cried out into the skies as the Blood God came forth. He sank to his knees and held his head in his hands as exhaustion and guilt swallowed him whole. 

He collapsed onto the wet grass without a sound.

Tommy landed with a thud as green slowly dispersed from his vision. A chill swept through the house they were in, and Tommy’s eyes looked to the fireplace that had loads of dry wood in it. 

He could swear that he had seen that fireplace before. He wanted to sit and think, but he had bigger things to deal with. 

Dream was laying down on the floor, unconscious, while still grasping onto Tommy’s hand. There was blood slowly seeping out from underneath his armour. Tommy’s mind went into overdrive. 

_ Dream was hurt because of him.  _

_ He was bleeding because of him.  _

_ He was unconscious because of him.  _

_ Tommy was still supposed to get punished for his selfishness and impatience.  _

He was as good as dead in Dream’s hands. He knew that he was going to get hurt, but he had to. He had disrespected Dream, he had cut his generous gift short, and he had ordered him around. He could feel his hands shaking as he took off Dream’s armour and hauled him onto a bed that he hastily crafted. He tore Phil’s tunic into strips and grabbed a bucket of water from a cauldron before starting to assess Dream’s wounds. 

He would make his brother feel better, even if his brother was too good for him. He would save his brother, and he wouldn't let memories of fake friends and feelings get in his way. 

Dream was right- he was always right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos!! It's the same thing as like and subscribe except it's AO3 lol 
> 
> might fuck around and make a new story mayhaps


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